Site not look beautiful? Click here

Entertainment

Spookiest Halloween costume?

Which of these acts—all in town this week—would help you scare up the most candy?

Puscifer

Instead of vampire gear, you wear: Shaved head, dark sunglasses, cowboy hat. Avoid direct eye contact.

Instead of "trick or treat" you say: "V is for Vagina." If you're feeling polite, opt for the remixed version, "V is for Viagra."

Instead of Snickers, you'll get: The snacks Maynard James Keenan promised last time at the Pearl and never delivered.

Slipknot

Instead of vampire gear, you wear: Disturbingly clown-like mask, jumpsuit. Have eight friends dress exactly the same.

Instead of "trick or treat" you say: "People = shit."

Calendar

Puscifer
Oct. 29, 8 p.m., $39 - $49
Pearl at the Palms
Slipknot
Oct. 31, 8 p.m., $44 - $64
Pearl at the Palms
Rob Zombie
Oct. 30, 8 p.m., $54 - $69
Pearl at the Palms
Mitch Albom
Oct. 25, 6 p.m., $25 - $100
Temple Beth Sholom

Instead of Snickers, you'll get: Heavy bag of nails.

Rob Zombie wants something sweet.

Rob Zombie

Instead of vampire gear, you wear: Long unwashed hair, nappy goatee, pale face paint. For bonus points, carry around a director's chair.

Instead of "trick or treat" you say: Something unintelligible and sinister, ending with "yeah!"

Mitch Albom will not be playing the Pearl, sorry.

Instead of Snickers, you'll get: Sour Patch Kids--abrasive on the outside, psychotically sweet within.

Mitch Albom

Instead of vampire gear, you wear: Sincerity, cowled in schmaltz, wedged between giant ears.

Instead of "trick or treat" you say: "Tuesdays With Morrie sold more than 14 million copies!" Cackle wickedly.

Instead of Snickers, you'll get: Super-sweet cotton candy, made with the tears of more deserving writers.

Share

Commenting Policy

Previous Discussion:

  • Think of Jamaica as an island of smiley, laid-back rastas slinging rum on calm beaches? A Brief History of Seven Killings will serve as a ...

  • Do we really need one more book about a lunatic chopping people up and the cops who finally stop him?

  • A mix of local and national writers will discuss their craft, telling stories and talking on issues pertaining to literature, society and writing.

  • Get More Print Stories
Top of Story