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As We See It

The Help Desk

Woman tries to make a citizen’s arrest of Karl Rove for “war crimes” during Las Vegas book signing. We’ve skimmed his pro-Bush Administration book—and we’d like to suggest changing the charge to “literary crimes.”

Jesse James’ ex-mistress Michelle “Bombshell” McGee to appear at Las Vegas strip club. That’s always been our main beef with our strip clubs—not skanky enough.

Kenny Chesney premieres Summer in 3-D concert film in Las Vegas. Avatar revived a really tired concept, and here’s hoping that Kenny Chesney’s junk in 3-D will kill it.

Matthew McConaughey, presenting at the Academy of Country Music Awards, reveals his daughter was conceived after last year’s CMAs. Welcome to this week’s junk-themed Help Desk.

Ex-Oakland Raiders wide receiver Javon Walker says he’s a changed man since he was robbed in Las Vegas. The next time he makes it rain, he’ll use travelers’ checks.

The truth emerges in the split between Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt. Yes, and the truth is ... we don’t care!

City of Las Vegas tries green parking meters to raise money for the homeless. This should send a strong message to the homeless population: You are totally screwed.

Nevada State Democratic Party official carries goat into GOP candidate Sue Lowden’s office. And we thought the Republicans were kinky!

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