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Sexuality

A conversation with professional dominatrix Mistress Rowynn

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Best behavior: Dominatrix Mistress Rowynn uses whips, chains, floggers and more to distill clients down to their truest selves.
Marshall Bradford
Lynn Comella

As a kid, Rowynn Eire used to tie up the neighborhood kids with ropes and dog leashes. Today, she is a professional dominatrix and BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism, masochism) and fetish educator whose bag of tricks consists of whips, chains, floggers and canes, which she uses to deliver calibrated doses of pain and pleasure to consenting adults.

Although she now calls Vegas home, Eire has lived, worked and performed her show, Ask a Mistress Live, all over the world. (The show, which is part education, part entertainment, returns to the Erotic Heritage Museum August 20.)

I sat down with Eire recently to talk about the world of BDSM and life as a professional dominatrix. Here’s what she had to say about getting naked at work (she doesn’t), the psychology of BDSM and the art of spanking in six-inch stilettos.

NO NUDITY, NO SEX

“People assume I will get naked. I don’t. I don’t do any kind of penetration play. I don’t do strap-on play of any kind, for reasons of cleanliness and safety. Nothing of you moves into me, nothing of me moves into you. That’s sex, and I don’t do it. I am the corporal punishment mistress. That’s what I do—bondage, whips, chains and floggers. I know a lot about the psychology of BDSM; that’s what really interests me. I like making a person feel a thing, instead of just experience a thing. I want you to feel the experience. You’ll never forget me; it will never happen.”

Calendar

Ask a Mistress Live
August 20
Erotic Heritage Museum
3275 Industrial Road, 369-6442
Beyond the Weekly
askmistressrowynn.com

“People cope and connect in different ways. The way I feel connected is through BDSM. I don’t believe it’s for everybody, but I do believe that if BDSM is where your heart and passion are, and if that’s when you feel the most yourself, then you deserve a playmate—dominant or submissive—who is your equal and who will treat you like an equal. You deserve someone who will do everything they can, either through dominance or submission, to lift you up and make you the most distilled version of yourself that you can be. Your job is to remove each other’s bullshit. When you are trying to get at the truth of a person through pain, there’s no room for lies or for bullshit. It is about who a person really is. It is about a bunch of stuff that you really can’t define in words.”

WHO WOULD WANT TO BE DOMINATED?

“While there is incredible diversity in the people who contact me, I tend to attract those looking not only for a physical exploration of pain and sensation, but also the emotional relaxation of knowing that for the length of the session there is nothing to worry about because I am in charge of everything. I’m not just giving a spanking; I decide where and how a subject is seated, in what position to apply bondage, whether or not they speak, what they see, what they hear, what they smell. I take over every sense and sensation. And by doing that, I relieve the subject of all pressure and responsibility, leaving them only the option to accept, feel and exist. Also, by taking over everything about a person for a period of time, I am showing them a huge amount of effort and caring. And it is a good thing to feel cared for.”

DEBRIEFING

“I have a rule that you have to be willing to debrief with me after a session. So much happens in a scene and most scenes are silent. You turn off the front part of your brain in order to submit and just the back part of your brain is doing whatever it needs to do. Your subconscious will dump all kinds of weird stuff out. I had someone just a few weeks ago tell me that while I was spanking him he had a flashback to the third grade spelling bee. It was a really traumatic experience for him. He won the spelling bee, but being up there in front of all those people was really terrifying and he’s had a problem with public speaking ever since. We had a whole conversation about that and he felt much better afterwards.”

FETISHES

“There is a fetish for everything, no matter what you are into. My fetish is corporal punishment. That’s what I am into. I deal with people who have a fetish for pain. Some people are really into feet. There are also shoe fetishists. There are gum chewing fetishes, ear cleaning fetishes and balloon fetishes. Some men really like watching a woman yawn. I had a man discover that he had a yawning fetish when he was with me. I got really tired and started to yawn. I apologized, but he said I could keep doing it. Something about him watching me relax and get tired and yawn totally rocked his world.”

“SPANKING ELBOW” AND OTHER OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thrown my back out bending over to give a spanking. I teach the proper body mechanics for dominance, because I’ve been injured so much. People don’t think enough about safety, and when they do, they usually think about the safety of the submissive. They are not concerned for the dominant’s physical or psychological safety. I have a repetitive stress injury in my wrist; I have a repetitive stress injury in my elbow. I have stress injuries in my neck and shoulder. Some people have tennis elbow, well I have spanking elbow. On top of all of that, because of what’s expected of us aesthetically, I still have to wear the damn shoes. I can do all of the things I do in a pair of six-inch stilettos, which, I must say, is really, really pretty to watch.”

Lynn Comella is a Women’s Studies professor at UNLV.
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