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Professors talk their own sh*t with Sh*t My Students Write

Lynn Comella

Last week as my students were cramming for finals, pulling all-nighters and putting the finishing touches on research papers, I had the pleasure—and I mean the dee-light—of stumbling across the website Shit My Students Write.

The site is a compilation of the wacky, often illogical and just plain funny stuff that ends up in student papers more frequently than most people might imagine. I found sage words of wisdom, creative revisions of historical fact, snapshots of brilliance and depths of logic and reasoning that would make a lawyer’s head spin. Here are some of my favorites:

•“Before, women were multifunctioning objects around the house that could do that birth thing, but now women are running corporations and writing great literature all the while still doing that birth thing.”

•“Was it the Revolutionary War or the Civil War that the Japanese dropped the atomic bomb on Pearl Harbor?”

•“Humans who struggle with hunger lose hope, and those with hope don’t have hunger and should give those with hunger reason to hope.”

•“Sex is a factor in teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.”

•“The Octopus of Apathy is spreading its testicles throughout the land.”

•“Sometimes, people are born with ambitious genitalia.”

•“I’m sorry, but can you clarify what you mean by written?”

My favorite student quip, though, comes courtesy of a fellow teacher. In response to a question on the final exam, a student wrote: “I’m not going to lie; I totally fell asleep in class that day. So here are some jokes...”

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