05.23.12 · 2:14 PM

Unimpressed, lions

I just visited the San Diego Zoo, and let me tell you, a lot of animals suck. Even the supposedly good ones, like the lions. They just lie there and look at you. And the pandas? Terrible. First of all, there was only one panda on display, and he—I don’t actually know/care about the animal’s correct sex—was facing away from us, sitting behind a log, eating a piece of bamboo. For like 20 minutes. Bravo, panda. That said, a couple ... Read more...

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05.4.12 · 9:41 AM

Board game hypocrisy

When it comes to board games, all y’all are a bunch of posers. Let me explain: Everybody goes on and on about how much they love Stratego, Catch Phrase, and Apples to Apples. Most of my friends claim a particular affinity for board games. And they’re always telling me that they’re going to hold Board Game Nights and invite me. Never happens. Everybody talks the talk, but nobody plays the play. And when people do play the play, they don’t ... Read more...

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04.27.12 · 10:58 AM

David Sedaris funnies up the Smith Center

The top three quotes from David Sedaris’s April 26th book reading at the Smith Center: 3 Recounting a fight in which one man hacked off another man’s forearm: “One man was armed with a cleaver. The other was disarmed.” 2 Discussing a nonfiction book by Gordon Grise called The Book of Deadly Animals: “It makes you feel great about eating meat.” 1 During the Q&A portion of the evening, a woman raised her hand and said she’d gotten married earlier ... Read more...

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04.23.12 · 9:19 AM

Drink it in

It’s time for Cleverboy to head out to LA once again. Not this week, but sometime soon. The main thing I remember from my last drive: LA gas stations are way more serious about drinking fountain selection than Vegas gas stations. Check out this nineteen-option soda dispenser I found at a California am/pm. Too much good stuff indeed.* Another great thing I found at a Cali rest stop/gas station: Sonic Boom energy drink. This company, Boston America Corp., has my ... Read more...

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04.19.12 · 4:47 PM

Only at Marquee, only at midnight, only Morgan

How was my 30th birthday party? I’ll cut right to the best part. Actually, I’ll give you a smidge of backstory first: The night before the party, as I was heading to bed, I was watching the new video podcast on Morgan Spurlock’s new documentary, Comic-Con Episode IV. And as I drifted off to sleep, I was thinking about how much I loved Super Size Me, and how badly I needed to see Spurlock’s next film. Twenty-four hours later, I’m ... Read more...

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04.9.12 · 3:52 PM

3 Blogs in 1

Haven’t updated the ol’ blog in a long while—a long while in blog years, that is—so I wanted to reward your patience with a triple entry. PART ONE: A COUPLE WEEKS AGO I went to the doctor for a checkup, and when the nurse was taking my blood pressure, I said, “Aren’t you supposed to check both arms now?” “What’s that?” “I heard on the news that you’re supposed to check both arms, to see whether there’s a difference.” “Where’d ... Read more...

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03.25.12 · 7:39 PM

Facebook etiquette for Vegas folks

I’m getting frustrated with my Facebook wall. Not with my own posts—which are consistently brilliant and hilarious—but with those of other people. More specifically, I’m getting frustrated with all the posts left on my wall that have absolutely nothing to do with me. Vegas Friends: My Facebook wall is not the place to promote your club event. Magician Friends: My Facebook wall is not the place to post videos of yourself performing tricks that you’re trying to sell. How can ... Read more...

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03.8.12 · 4:25 PM

A much-needed escape from our strange Vegas reality

In the movie The Truman Show, Christof (Ed Harris), the director, says, “We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented.” Which makes sense. And it makes sense that I accept Vegas as my reality. Oh, intellectually, I know that Vegas is not a normal city, butonly intellectually. And sometimes that’s not enough … Quick analogy: Feminist writer Susan Douglas says that reality TV warps viewers’ sense of what makes women valuable to society. Douglas points out ... Read more...

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02.13.12 · 2:20 PM

Whitney love all around … almost

Ice-T and Coco brought their love to Pure on Saturday—the night Whitney Houston died. And Whitney’s passing brought about one of the most unique moments I’ve ever experienced at a Las Vegas club. Ice-T got on the mic and asked for 10 seconds of silence in Whitney’s honor. Now, I’m not telling you that you could have heard a pin drop. That’d be a lie. But I will tell you that it was the quietest, most reflective moment I’ve ever ... Read more...

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02.4.12 · 11:04 AM

The Strip-side life

I’m typing this blog entry from my new apartment. It’s not on the Strip, but it’s close. Dangerously close. Two nights ago I drove from my parking garage to that of the Venetian—in about 100 seconds. I was in the poker room after another 100. Like I said, it’s dangerous. I’ve actually got some experience living among tourists. When I lived in Chicago, my apartment was right on Michigan Avenue. Which is similar to Las Vegas Boulevard … but with ... Read more...

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Featured Cocktail

Cocktail of the Week May 23, 2012
by Sabrina Chapman

Rhumbar’s Scorpion Bowl stings so good

Ready to celebrate the official start of summer? Prepare for takeoff. Memorial Day Weekend picks up speed with the addition of Rhumbar’s Scorpion Bowl ($49) to the weekend’s party lineup. ...
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