07.30.10 · 3:21 PM

Cleverboy vs. The Geezer Bandit

You’re welcome, California. Now give me my money. Oh, I know you’re strapped for cash, but you guys owe me. Sort of. Let me explain… The “Geezer Bandit” robbed a handful of Californian banks. Based on the security camera footage, the FBI guessed he was between 60 and 70 years old. The banks offered a $16,000 reward for any information that led to his arrest. So I called the FBI and told them that the Geezer Bandit wasn’t really a ... Read more...

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07.28.10 · 3:41 PM

Defending BP

Earlier this week I wrote a blog post defending Jennifer Aniston’s stalker. I’ve decided to up the ante and write one defending BP. Think of it as an intellectual exercise. Think of it as me putting my J.D. to work by playing Devil’s Advocate. Here goes: Back in 1990, the government told BP that if it spilled oil, it wouldn’t have to pay more than $75 million to clean up the mess…no matter how big the mess was. The bill ... Read more...

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07.26.10 · 8:28 PM

I’m with Jennifer Aniston’s stalker

Jennifer Aniston just got a restraining order against crazed fan Jason Peyton. I’m taking Peyton’s side on this one. Yes, Peyton had a roll of duct tape, a “sharp object,” and a list of baby names on his person as he “lay in wait” for the Friends actress, and yes, he had the words “I love you Jennifer Aniston” carved into his car’s hood…but I’m still on his side. Why? Because Jennifer Aniston is just so darn accessible-seeming. Based on ... Read more...

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07.20.10 · 1:27 PM

The good ol’ Psychic Chernobyl Bowling Pin trick

Performing stage magic is like riding a bike in that 1) once you learn how to do it, you never forget, and 2) if you’re doing it in front of a big group of people and you mess up, it’s really embarrassing. I haven’t performed stage magic in a very long time, but when Jeff McBride invited me to do a 5-minute set at this July’s Wonderground, I said yes. What’d I perform? Why, the ol’ “Psychic Chernobyl Bowling Pin” ... Read more...

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07.15.10 · 2:40 PM

You’re not as clever as you think, and neither, perhaps, are we.

What’s the #1 most photographed spot on the Las Vegas strip? Is it the Bellagio fountains? Is it the Mirage Volcano? Is it the Eiffel Tower? Based on absolutely no testing and no serious analysis whatsoever, I’d say the most photographed spot is the pair of giant marble breasts jutting out of the wall in Mandalay Bay. Every other tourist group that walks by these breasts snaps a picture with ‘em. Usually groping, occasionally kissing, rarely licking. Here’s why I’m ... Read more...

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07.12.10 · 3:13 PM

The morality of mess

I saw this trashcan in the Mandalay Bay parking garage. It raises an interesting moral question: Let’s say you walked up to this trashcan with a bottle to throw out. And let’s say you put the bottle on top of the can and it fell to the floor. Or maybe you threw the bottle on the ground, right by the can, because you knew that if you put it on top of the other garbage, it would fall down and ... Read more...

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07.11.10 · 2:05 PM

Exploring the NBC talent paradox

It’s official: America’s out of talent. Everybody has been discovered. If memory serves, during the first few seasons of America’s Got Talent, the judges put through the good acts and cut the bad ones. Now the show is 95% sob story, 5% talent. It’s turned into The Gong Show for the ill. Oh, I know the producers and the judges have the best of intentions when they allow forward, say, the septuagenarian quadriplegic hippo caller. But the show comes off ... Read more...

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07.10.10 · 1:58 PM

Smiles aren’t cool, but they’re sure refreshing.

I just visited Tabú at MGM, for the very first time. What the hell took me so long? Look, Tabú might not be the swankest lounge on the strip (any more), and it might not serve the craziest cocktails or employ the fiercest servers, but it’s got more happy people in it than any other venue I’ve been to this year. The bartenders are happy, the waitresses are happy, the DJs are happy, and, most of all, the patrons are ... Read more...

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07.8.10 · 11:22 AM

Pool partyin’…with the parents.

My parents flew in for the holiday weekend. They’ve been visiting Vegas for nearly 40 years, so they’ve seen the city transform from Old West to Sin City to Disneyland East to Camp Vegas. “The pools are totally different now,” my mom said, after spending the afternoon at Mandalay Beach and Moorea Beach Club. “They used to be for relaxing, but now they’re for partying,” she said. My dad agreed: “Moorea is essentially a nightclub in the water.” “What did ... Read more...

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07.7.10 · 3:10 PM

Aces, stripped; Penguin, considered.

Back in middle school, I attended a couple lectures at the Wunderground Magic Shop in Royal Oak, Michigan. The store was originally called “Romig’s,” but when it moved to the basement floor of another office building, it took on the name “Wundergroud”…and it kept that name the following year, when it moved into the second floor of yet another building. I guess “Waboveground” just didn’t have the same ring to it. Anyway, I carpooled to one of these Wunderground lectures ... Read more...

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07.2.10 · 1:15 PM

Clock people

They were on sale. Best money I ever spent. Very much related: A decade ago, I read a book on humor theory. If I remember things correctly, at one point, there was a school of thought that said all humor originates in the confusion of man and machine. Men acting mechanical, machines acting human—all comedy stems from that. (A similar school of thought believed that all humor stemmed from animals acting human and people acting animalian.) I don’t buy into ... Read more...

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Featured Cocktail

Cocktail of the Week Jun 19, 2013
by Ken Miller

Postrio’s nod to Don Quixote makes for a perfect summertime drink

When you think of summer, odds are thoughts of legendary literary character Don Quixote don’t spring to mind. But after trying a Distorted Chivalry at the Venetian’s Postrio, that might ...
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