03.31.10 · 8:58 AM
The cult of ‘Sister Act 2’
About 10 years ago, I started a new life policy: I resolved that whenever somebody asked me what my favorite movie was, I’d reply, “Sister Act 2, Back in the Habit.” I didn’t dislike the movie, but I sure didn’t love it. It’s cheesy, it’s unrealistic and it’s predictable. Sure, it’s got a good soundtrack, and character actor Michael Jeter, but it’s crappy, right? Not so fast. In college I bought a Sister Act 2 DVD and watched it a ... Read more...
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Facebook03.30.10 · 7:57 AM
Ladies, guys and everyone else, too?
The Las Vegas Athletic Club on Sahara and Decatur has a new sign. It reads: “Ladies Join Free! AND GUYS CAN TOO.” Why didn’t LVAC just say, “Everybody Can Join For Free”? Well, there must have been a marketing meeting during which somebody made this argument: “If we say, ‘Everybody can join for free,’ it’ll seem like a scam. But if we say, ‘Ladies join free. And guys can, too,’ then people will think to themselves, Hey, I’m lucky enough ... Read more...
03.27.10 · 6 AM
Substitute teaching
I’m sitting in the bookstore café. I’m next to a table of teachers, and the teachers are grading papers. The assignment, apparently, was, “Write a persuasive essay backed up by research.” On of the teachers just marked a student way down for using the word “I.” “Hi,” I said, “I don’t mean to interrupt,”— obviously I did mean to interrupt; no clue why I said otherwise — “but I’m a professional writer, and I do persuasive essays with research, and ... Read more...
03.25.10 · 7:28 PM
Attack of the Airzooka
I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to confuse and annoy my roommate’s obnoxious cat. And last week I found a decent one. It’s called an Airzooka and it fires a ball or air up to 20 feet away. The plus side is, when I fire the Airzooka at the cat, she can’t begin to conceive of what’s happening to her. She knows it’s mildly unpleasant, but that’s it. The down side is, the more I fire the Airzooka ... Read more...
03.24.10 · 2:45 PM
Thanks for the tips
Thank to all the servers, bartenders and patrons who contacted me and/or left comments on LasVegasWeekly.com last week, in response to the story we did on tips/gratuities. For some reason, that story really struck a chord with a lot of you. Seems like all of you hold strong beliefs on the subject and have been waiting for the right forum to share those beliefs. The thing that struck me about the responses was that most readers took the story as ... Read more...
03.24.10 · 12:36 PM
There’s something about Create
I watch about two hours of TV every day, and I eat at Create Burger three or four days a week. This year, my New Year’s Resolution was this: Watch more TV, and eat at Create Burger more often. You already know how awesome TV is, so let me tell you about how awesome Create is: See that burger above? It’s got roasted red pepper, grilled onions, red onion, iceberg/romaine blend, sprouts, cucumber, carrots, and Grey Poupon on it. Know ... Read more...
03.23.10 · 9:15 AM
Can I get that cookie with some wild speculation, please?
Recently, I went to Panda Express, and here’s what my fortune cookie said: “YOU MAY HAVE A NEW OPPORTUNITY SOON.” Easily the worst fortune I’ve ever gotten. The main problem is “MAY.” Just take it out, fortune cookie writer guy. First of all, I understand that it’s a fortune cookie, not a legally enforceable contract. I understand that if an opportunity doesn’t present itself in the near future, I can’t sue you. And even if I did sue you, you’d ... Read more...
03.22.10 · 12 PM
Three totally unrelated public service announcements
Part One: When something bad happens to your friend, don’t try to cheer him up with clichés. In fact, don’t try to cheer him up at all, especially immediately after the bad thing happened. So what should you say? Here are some acceptable options: -“I’m sorry.” -“That sucks.” -“That sucks. I know what that’s like, and it sucks.” -“That sucks. I can’t imagine what that’s like.” Infinitely better, each one. If you want, you can throw in, “Let me know ... Read more...
03.21.10 · 4:35 PM
Don’t read this blog
I’m 30 percent of the way through Stephen Markley’s PUBLISH THIS BOOK: The Unbelievable, True Story of how I Wrote, Sold, and Published This Very Book. So far, it’s the most self-indulgent, self-absorbed, self-congratulatory memoir I’ve ever read… and I’m loving every minute of it. Actually, I didn’t love the first ten pages. But I just went back and reread them, and now I really like them, too. So what the hell happened on my first read? I think I ... Read more...
03.20.10 · 6 AM
Of Cirque and sitcoms
Has anybody noticed that Cirque du Soleil is moving in the opposite direction of the Strip as a whole? Here’s what I mean: The Strip is getting less and less schticky; Cirque’s getting more and more. The last three major casinos to open (Encore, M and CityCenter) have no discernible themes; the last three Cirque shows to open (LOVE, Believe and Viva Elvis) do. That’s the opposite of what happened in the ’90s. I saw Viva Elvis last week, and ... Read more...
03.19.10 · 12:44 PM
Dear Law School: No soup for you!
Two years ago I graduated from the fantastic DePaul University College of Law. Right after I did, the school started hitting me up for donations. Usually I delete emails from the alumni department, but yesterday I got an email with the subject line, “Breaking News for Recent Grads” So I opened it. Here was the “Breaking News”: “Because you are a 2005 to 2009 grad of DePaul, you are eligible for a special introductory membership in the President’s Club for ... Read more...
03.16.10 · 4:05 PM
The dog vs. cat debate, or why cats are arrogant pricks
Dogs are better than cats. I think we can all agree on that. At least I thought we could all agree on that, but that was before I moved into an apartment with a girl who had a cat. Don’t get me wrong, the cat didn’t sway my opinion—condescending little f*#ker—but my roommate introduced me to a community of otherwise-rational people who profess their love of cats so consistently that I’m starting to think they’re not being sarcastic. Apparently, there ... Read more...
03.15.10 · 12:15 PM
How to look smart for about $10
Three years back, the Associated Press reported that one out of four Americans hadn’t read a book in the previous year. Four years before that, the National Endowment for the Arts found that 43 percent of Americans hadn’t read a book in the previous year. Now, I’ll defend your right to not read, but I won’t encourage it. As a book writer, I have a financial interest in your reading habits. I want you to read. And I’d assume booksellers ... Read more...
03.10.10 · 11:33 AM
Teaching the teacher some grammar
I’m watching CNN and listening to one of the 70-some teachers who got fired at Rhode Island’s Central Falls High School. The teacher, attempting to refute the statistics given by those who allege the school is under-performing, said this: “Don’t believe everything you hear about statistics.” The teacher clearly meant to say, “Don’t believe all the statistics you hear,” but if you consider his exact words, you’ll see that his comment wasn’t about statistics at all; it was about comments ... Read more...
03.9.10 · 1:29 PM
The magic union is strong (but what’s parallelism?)
The 2010 World Magic Seminar is over, and if I die without ever seeing another card trick, I’ll be fine. But that’s what I say after every big magic event. Then, two weeks later, I’m jonesing for a multiple card revelation or a four-ace trick. After spending a couple days at the WMS, I can tell you that the state of the magic union is strong. I particularly was impressed with the teens. Their chops are solid (i.e., their slight-of-hand ... Read more...
03.8.10 · 10:21 AM
The 82nd Annual Waste of Time
I’m so mad at myself right now. I feel like I do when I lock myself out of the house. Here’s what I’m talking about: Every year I watch the Oscars from start to finish, and every year, when the broadcast is through, I say to myself, “That was the most boring four hours of my life. I could have spent that time treading water or doing the watusi. Next year, I’m not watching the Oscars.” Yeah, I just watched ... Read more...
03.4.10 · 4:50 PM
Vanishing act (in plain sight)
I visited the Gamblers General Store recently with magician Joshua Jay. Kindred spirits for sure. Jay is 28, Jewish, an only child, a magician and a writer. I’m a month shy of 28, but other than that, the description fits. The Gamblers General Store sells playing cards, poker chips, blackjack tables and everything else you’d need to start your own casino, except for the permits. Magicians head to the GGS when they’re working on gambling-inspired illusions (as Jay was) or ... Read more...
03.3.10 · 11:53 AM
The Sticky Bra and sticking it out after 30
Recently, I visited Deuce Lounge at Aria with my lovely roommate and three of her friends: Tala (one of Matt Goss’s Dirty Virgin Dancers), Kat (a freelance dancer), and Kat’s friend Jared, an inked club host. Our drinks were comped because we’re young(ish) and pretty, so I non-splurged and went for the $25 Deuce-Tini. The girls all went for Raspberry Lemon Sorbets (Belvedere vodka, Belvedere Cytrus, Raspicello, Limoncello, fresh lemon juice, fresh raspberry puree, simple syrup, vanilla lemon float). Then, ... Read more...
03.1.10 · 2:37 PM
How strangers react when I advise them on book choices
“That book sucks. You shouldn’t buy it.” I spend a lot of time in bookstores, and every few days, I find myself saying those two sentences to a complete stranger. As you can imagine, the strangers don’t react well. It’s not every day that some presumptuous asshole walks up to you and tells you what you should and shouldn’t do with your life. Last week at Town Square’s Borders, I saw a cute girl in an oversized denim jacket join ... Read more...
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SMS Alerts
Featured Cocktail
May 15, 2013
by
Sabrina Chapman
The Golden Pillar: An architectural cocktail built for XS
This Sunday, XS nightclub celebrates the grand reopening of its after-dark pool party, Night Swim. Along with the bash comes a new offering of signature cocktails served by the pitcher, ...
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