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From Nut A to Nut B

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Also contains nutty emails.

Ted L. Nancy wrote the book All New Letters From a Nut. It’s a collection of silly, awkward, real letters, sent out by the author. Also the responses, also a foreword from Jerry Seinfeld.

I wrote a letter to Mr. Nancy a while back, and it’s looking like I’m not going to get a reply. Too bad; I so wanted to strike up a correspondence with the guy…

Anyway, this was my letter:

Dear Ted:

HI TED NANCY!!! Just kidding.

But seriously, my name is Rick Lax, and I’m the book reviewer at Las Vegas Weekly (“Home of the Las Vegas Weekly Book Review.”) I am working on a review your new comedy joke book, ALL NEW LETTERS FROM A NUT, and I had a couple of questions for you:

1) On a scale of 1 to 5, how many stars would an OBJECTIVE book reviewer give your book?

2) If an OBJECTIVE, HANDSOME book reviewer were to write a couple sentences about your book, what would they be?

3) Our readers love pictures! Can you please send a drawing of me (handsome) reviewing your book? (If the cover of your book appears in this drawing, can you please substitute my name for yours, so it looks like I wrote the book myself? [HA HA/GET IT?!])

Sincerely,

Rick Lax, Las Vegas Weekly

P.S., I know the word “NUT” is all fun & games & treetops to you, but to many it is VERY OFFENSIVE. My younger brother is a “NUT,” and when he found my copy of your book in the tub, he ate an entire carton of eggs. Did you ever consider changing the title to “LETTERS FROM A GOOFYBALL” or “SILLY OL’ GOOFYBALL LETTERS”?

P.P.S., I have A LOT screenplays to pitch to Mr. Jerry Seinfeld, who wrote your book’s foreword. Most of them are about Jerry in one way or another (think Being John Malkovich…AND THEN DOUBLE IT), and one is about a talking fish named Nemo, but it’s VERY DIFFERENT from Pixar’s FINDING NEMO, so there won’t be any problems. What’s Jerry’s cell?

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Rick Lax

Rick wrote the books Fool Me Once: Hustlers, Hookers, Headliners, and How Not to Get Screwed in Vegas and Lawyer ...

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