Las Vegas Weekly

July 30, 2012 · 9:42 AM

Ultimate embarrassment at Walmart

By Rick Lax

Was Walmart out to shame Cleverboy?

Yesterday I went to Walmart. I bought $200 worth of stuff, including something embarrassing. I’m not going to say what it was, but I’ll admit that it was embarrassing. And don’t try to use your imagination because you’ll get it wrong.

I’m checking out, and the cashier takes the embarrassing item and runs it across the scanner. Then she puts it in a bag. Then, after scanning the next item, she goes back into the bag, removes the embarrassing item, and sets it on top of the bag carousel. For the world to see. (Bag carousels are like Lazy Susans for six plastic shopping bags.)

After the cashier finishes scanning the rest of my items, she slips the embarrassing item into it’s own bag. Then I pay and begin taking the bags from the carousel and putting them into my cart.

Before I’m done, the cashier starts helping the customer after me. Scans her items and puts them into bags.

The thing is, I’m pretty sure I haven’t yet taken the bag with my embarrassing item from the carousel. I was pretty sure the cashier was putting the other customer’s items into the bag holding my embarrassing item.

“Wait!” I say.

Then I pause to figure out what to say next.

“I’m not sure I have…all my items.”

“You’re fine,” the cashier assures me. And she continues checking out the customer behind me.

I consider going through the other customer’s bags, but decide that if I were to find the item there, it would be even more embarrassing, if such a thing were even possible at that point. So I let it go. It’s probably in one of my bags, I figure.

When I get to my car, I can’t find the item.

The end.

Share This