Las Vegas Weekly

January 21, 2009 · 3:43 PM

Weekly’s most boring cities in the U.S. (Take that, Forbes)

By Las Vegas Weekly Staff

Sure, Henderson and North Las Vegas aren’t thriving metropolises in their own right, full of world class dining, thrilling entertainment and enough scantily clad skin to fully distract one of Forbes magazine’s editors from his commas and clauses, but guess where you can find all of these things. Ding! Fabulous Las Vegas!

It’s hard to deem anywhere mere minutes from Vegas as boring, let alone one of the 10 most boring cities in the country. So, in response to Forbes’ list, we’ve compiled our own purely subjective lineup of the dullest of the dull.

For your avoiding pleasure…

1. Provo, Utah

After 5 p.m. daily and all day Sunday, the streets of Provo are devoid of people and cars. Despite being a college town, there are virtually no clubs, no drinking, no frat parties in this small city. You can't even sport a tank top and shorts without feeling like the city's Hester Prynne. - Jennifer Grafiada

2. Marion, South Carolina

The most excitement this small city in northeastern South Carolina sees is the occasional drug bust on a downtown street corner. Marion is a good half hour from the nearest town that gets traveling music acts, and those only washed up country shows, and a full hour from the excitement of Myrtle Beach. You can cut the boredom here with a spoon. -Allison Duck

3. Cleveland, Ohio

Cleveland: As featureless and drab as the gray sky that presses down on it in winter. - Scott Dickensheets

4. Inkom, Idaho.

The city's centerpiece is a cement factory. - John Katsilometes

5. South Bend, Indiana

Even though it’s a college town (home of Notre Dame) there is absolutely nothing to do in this Midwestern city – not one cool bar or restaurant to go to. When I first moved to South Bend and asked my new co-workers where the coolest bar was, the response I got was, “Fridays.” Yuk. - Beverly Poppe

6. Topeka, Kansas

You can actually buy birthday cards in Topeka with an illustration of a dead person and two detectives under the header “CSI: Topeka.” In a speech bubble, the detective suggests the victim has actually died of boredom. Proof enough for us.

7. Pittsfield, Massachusetts

Stuck in the middle of the scenic Berkshires, Pittsfield is exciting for all of about a minute. After the beauty of the rolling hills and plentiful trees wears off, you’re still stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do and likely six months of winter preparing to narrow down your activity options down further. Trees and snow do not an interesting city make. - Sarah Feldberg

8. Havre, Montana

Head to Havre and you’ll find about 10,000 people 20 miles or so from the Canadian border, and it's freezing-ass cold about seven months out of the year -- meaning you can't really leave your home. That, to me, is the definition of boring. - Ken Miller

Share This