Las Vegas Weekly

February 27, 2009 · 2:16 PM

How to find the Luxor? Ask a local … or gaze skyward

By John Katsilometes

The Luxor is easy to spot, even in a snowstorm.

Photo: Las Vegas Sun

As I left the MGM Grand the other night and walked along Tropicana Avenue toward the Strip, a guy with a British accent happened upon me and asked, “Can you tell me how to get to the Luxor?”

“I can,” I said. “In fact, I will.”

“Is it far?” he asked.

“It’s a little bit of a hike,” I said.

“I’m sure I walked further to grade school,” he said. I detected a measure of pride as he said that.

“OK. Go straight up this street until you reach the corner. That’s the Strip, and on that corner you’ll find elevated walkways,” I said. “I’d go ahead and get on the escalator up, cross, take the down escalator at New York-New York and start heading south, which is a left turn from here.”

“Got it,” he said. “Is it hard to find?”

“No. It’s on the right-hand side, just keep your eyes open …” then I stopped, and stopped him, having seen the light. “Actually, see that giant black pyramid over there? The one with the blinding white light coming out of the point? That’s the Luxor.”

And he said what we both were thinking: “You can’t miss it.”

Never let it be said I am not aware of my surroundings …

Those who know the Johnny will tell you that I have been a close personal friend of Wayne Newton ever since his days at the Fremont, when he paid me 50 cents a string to tune his banjo. With all that’s happening this weekend – stock cars roaring around the tri-oval at LVMS and Siegfried & Roy reuniting for a 12-minute routine during the Keep Memory Alive gala at the Bellagio – I would be remiss not to note that The Wayner is performing at the Hollywood Theatre from Friday through Wednesday (click here for the swingin’ deets). The Wayner joins a Hollywood Theatre rotation of classic Strip headliners that includes Tom Jones and David Copperfield. The Wayner is back in late April, and I would check him out because he’s hot! Hot, I tell you!

I’m not sure anymore who gets credit/blame for the concept of bottle service in nightclubs – I think it was Russian club maven Vladimir Rippemov – but O’Sheas on the Strip is striking back. The little Irish-themed club (Irish, in that it’s largely painted green and a midget/dwarf/little person is dressed as a leprechaun for photo ops) is offering its own satirical version of bottle service. For $45, customers receive a bottle of Jack Daniels or Smirnoff (750 milliliters, which is enough to get ya goin’) with a mixer and plastic cups. They call it “The Brown Bag Special,” and the deal is offered at both bars, all hours. You really can’t afford notto take advantage of this prize package, which has “weekend blackout” written all over it.

Stitched on the back of a jacket worn by a guy riding a really loud-and-proud Harley Davidson: “Loud Pipes Save Lives.”

As I was filling the KatMobile at the Short Line Express Market on the corner of Jones Boulevard and Warm Springs Road, a guy pulled up across from me, curled out of his car and blew cigarette smoke skyward. “Can you not smoke next to the gas pumps? Please?” I asked, sort of stunned. He snuffed it out, but whew, holy Human Torch, Batman.

I was at the oral surgeon today – part of my 2009 Health Care World Tour – and learned something about one Dr. Eric Swanson. Swanson is a Harvard-educated doctor of dental medicine and a generally congenial sort. He also does a beyond-credible impression of Robin Leach. How I found this out was, I told him I am friends with Robin Leach (and Wayne Newton. Have I mentioned that? Crazy life …) and he starts doing this impression of Robin. Something like, “Up next, we’ll follow Brooke Shields as she summers on the beaches of Cabo San Lucas!” Funny. Dr. Swanson performed this impression several years ago during a talent show at Harvard. You never know what you’re going to learn on a given day in VegasVille.

Something about the gripping-the-eyewear pose in this promo shot of DJ Judge Jules seems gnawingly familiar to me …

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