Las Vegas Weekly

October 12, 2009 · 10:38 PM

Monday List: Nine highlights from Cook, BNL and the Arizona Cardinals

By John Katsilometes

Dane Cook performs at The Joint in the Hard Rock Hotel.

Photo: Erik Kabik/Retna/www.erikkabikphoto.com

The weekends, they can brim with random activities. Barenaked ladies (the dancers) at the Palomino Club one night, Barenaked Ladies (the band) at Star of the Desert Arena in Primm the next. I did not actually experience both over the weekend -- no Palomino visit -- but I did catch the new, trimmed version of BNL on Friday at Star of the Desert. Saturday was Dane Cook at The Joint at the Hard Rock Hotel, and Sunday it was a road trip to and from Glendale, Ariz., where the Arizona Cardinals beat the Houston Texans 28-21.

The Monday List, similar to the Texans’ offense in that it is slightly late to arrive, is Top Nine Highlights From the Weekend Past:

9. From Cook, “Every guy has a folder on his computer desktop, and it’s just for him. What is in that folder is none of his girlfriend’s business. When she leaves the house, he’s calling his friends who live on streets she drives, ‘Do you see her? She’s not doing a (bleeping) U-turn, is she?’ You need to make sure she’s gone so you can open that folder. What would you do if you open that folder? You do not want to know!” (Snap review: Cook performed for exactly one hour with no encore and was funny during most of that hour, but I honestly think I’ve got friends who are just as funny, and Cook’s humor is unlike that of, say, Steven Wright, whose jokes make you laugh days later. Cook has a kind of microwave humor, funny for a few minutes, then … buzz!)

8. From a guy in the Hard Rock Hotel sports book, watching BYU’s trampling of UNLV: “Is football a club sport at UNLV?”

7. On the drive into Glendale, locale of University of Phoenix Stadium, regular unleaded was $2.29 per gallon at a Shell station in Sun City.

6. On the drive into the Hard Rock Hotel, I happened upon a couple on a Harley. The woman was wearing a veil (and a helmet), and the two said they were married that afternoon at Little Chapel of the West.

5. “Livin’ the dream,” as a statement or rejoinder, has officially taken off. A guy I met at the Cardinals-Texans game used it in the second quarter, saying, “Today, I’m livin’ the dream.” That’s easy to say when you’re up 21-0 in a game that would end 28-21 after the home team stuffs the visitors on 4th-and-goal from inside the 1 to win it.

4. Barenaked Ladies vocalist Ed Robertson asked, “Are there any actual Primm-ians in the audience? Raise your hands!” (Snap review: The band is as smart, funny and musically capable as ever, but really missed departed band mate Steven Page, especially during “If I Had $1,000,000.”)

3. Cook dropped 90 f-bombs in 60 minutes.

2. Primm Resorts GM Michael Starr says, “I know nothing about entertainment.” The Star of the Desert lineup says otherwise. By the month the venue is home to shows by Loggins & Messina (Wednesday), Kool & the Gang and the Commodores (Friday), Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons (Saturday), Stone Temple Pilots (Oct. 23), ABBA the Music (a tribute, mind you, Oct. 24) and KC & the Sunshine Band (Halloween). Somebody at least understands the value of variety down there in Primm. Anyone who can take in that STP/ABBA consecutive-night doubleheader deserves some sort of commendation.

1. As Robertson detailed, there was a niggling problem with BNL’s sound check at Star of the Desert. “My guitar kept making this ‘whum-ah!’ sound, and we could not figure out why,” he said, telling of a sound engineer taking apart foot pedals and unplugging and replugging amps. They looked over the guitar and found nothing wrong, but the sound persisted. Finally, as Robertson said, “I looked at my right wrist and said, ‘Hey, I never wear this bracelet on my right wrist.’ ” It was the silver accessory setting off the weird sound. As drummer Tyler Stewart, himself wired improperly, said: “Speaking for the entire crew, allow me to say, ‘What a (jerk).’ ”

Follow John Katsilometes on Twitter at twitter.com/JohnnyKats.

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