Las Vegas Weekly

August 24, 2008 · 6 AM

An open letter from Louie Anderson to Robin Leach

By Louie Anderson

Having his cake and eating it, too, is a celebratory Louie Anderson.

Photo: Scott Doctor/www.greatscottstudios.com

Hey Robin,

I hope you’re having a fabulous vacation and don’t worry about those of us who are here in Las Vegas enjoying the triple digit heat. After all, everyone keeps saying it’s not so bad because, “It’s a dry heat.”

You know what that means--- people just don’t stink when they die!

Even the airport should be renamed the Las Vegas Airport & Fitness Center. The people there bet on whether I'll make it to the gate or not.

It makes you appreciate whoever invented air conditioning. I think he or she deserves a medal.

Seriously, I love Las Vegas. I’ve performed here for more than 20 years and can say it really is “The Entertainment Capital of the World.” Comedians love Vegas. It’s a great place to perform and the venues are terrific.

Of course, you can find me at the only castle (Excalibur) on the famous Las Vegas Strip. Just cross the moat and come on in. If you prefer drive up to valet and tell them you’re coming to see my show. The show’s at 7 p.m. Sunday through Thursdays.

While I love show business, there is more to the world than that. I mentioned something in my Dear Dad Letters From An Adult Child book that I would like to share with you all now.

Some of the most important things I've learned in life are parents should love their children. Children should enjoy being young. The things that taste the best are always the worst for your health and should be eaten in moderation except in times of extreme anxiety.

Women should be in charge of everything. If they were, hunger and the homeless problems would be taken care of. Priorities would be hot meals and clean clothes. Drug-related crimes would probably ebb too.

And, the thought that your mom would show up to tell you your room looks like a pig sty, so clean it up and that means right now, would inspire anyone who has had that experience (and haven’t we all?) to make the world cleaner, more organized, and filled with love.

So to my mom who is looking down from Heaven---be proud, I’m trying to keep my room clean

Photo: TVT

Louie Anderson has no reservations at this table.

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