Las Vegas Weekly

June 3, 2008 · 7:56 PM

Beacher Pays Heavy Price in Weight Loss Fiasco

By Robin Leach

Photo: Beacher

Heavyweight comedy producer Jeff Beacher has admitted the doctor’s cocktail of drugs he took for dramatic weight loss almost killed him. In an exclusive Luxe Life interview, the impresario said: “It nearly killed me – I nearly died from it. I came mighty close. My liver is totally destroyed and not functioning. My entire endocrine system is ruined. I was basically a woman after she gives birth with post-partum depression. I couldn’t eat, think, or do anything.”

Beacher says he had to go for almost two months of rehab treatments to detoxify: “Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons has put together a special committee to hear athletes testify about the use of human growth hormones and drugs of that nature --- the same drugs I was on. They have a team of doctors that are the best in the world that testify and shut down doctors like the one that got me. There is a detox program that the 9/11 workers go to. It’s treated 1,200 rescue workers, and they recommended me going there. I did that for 45 days.

“The doctor said my weight-loss program was healthy, natural and (he was) shooting me with it and giving me pills. I thought they were vitamins, but it was a very heavy derivative of speed and steroids, basically. I was on it two-three times a week for 10-11 months! In December, I started getting its effects – and I realized for months that I was paranoid and delusional. I was a jerk for over a year. I was mean, angry and a paranoid person -- all from the drugs.”

Beacher admitted that the program is costly at $1,000 a week, but to save money he agreed to be the “successful face” of the doctor’s practice in an endorsement campaign. “That’s not something he wants now,” said Beacher. “I would have but after what it did to me I am simply going to speak out against it all.

“I went to him on a recommendation because the plan was that it would help me lose weight. You get on this stuff and you are losing 2-to-4 pounds per week. You can eat whatever you want and drink whatever you want, and it is like just giving a drug addict more drugs. The plan was to lose 100 pounds over a year but when I’d dropped 40 I’d become hooked and delusional. Thank goodness, now I’ve managed to lose another 70 pounds on my own just by being healthy and exercising properly. I was at 360 pounds but I’m down about 110-115 pounds now to 240. I’m continuing my three-hour daily workouts to get it down to 200 pounds.

“At first, when I stopped the drugs, I was having panic attacks, I was having problems physically and mentally, and I went to real doctors in L.A. and they said, stop these drugs, get on vitamins and start working out. Then, the quiet before the storm, I was good for a month and then my endocrine system broke down. “Now I’m feeling good and feeling healthy, and I think I’m cleansed of the drugs. My liver enzymes were at 127 and are now down to 28. The perfectly healthy person who has never had drugs or alcohol is a 20 so I’m almost there. My heart enzymes were at 75, healthy is 20, mine are 25. I would drink modestly only on the weekends or at parties but when you drink with these drugs it really screws you up. The doctor, believe it or not, is still in business and I will be suing him for dispensing those evil cocktails.

“I’m going to testify to the US Senate about this weight-loss speed drug diet, in an attempt to get them stopped and made illegal. I am also going on talk shows, do interviews and speak out against it. The sad thing is that people this has happened to are humiliated and don’t want to come forward to disclose what happened. Me, I don’t care. I would rather use my fame and help people not to use these drugs. The new doctors that I hooked up with are estimating there are a couple hundred thousand people in the U.S. who have the same problems and don’t know how to fix it. It is simple as cleaning your system out, but if you go to doctors that don’t know about it, they are giving out more medicine.

“You go in to feel slim and fit, only to find out you have become a drug addict -- that’s if you are lucky, just a drug addict. If you are unlucky like me, your whole body will get destroyed. At the end of the day though now I am doing everything properly. I am healthy again. “

Beacher revealed that now he’s back in Vegas, “cleansed and perfectly well again” he’ll make a major announcement in the next few days about the return of his wildly popular Beacher's Madhouseshows – at a Strip hotel. “I’m back – the paranoid psycho who hid himself in a closet is once again the loveable lunatic,” he summed up. “I’m glad I came out safely on the other side of this one.”

HEADLINE COMIC ROBERT SCHIMMEL TELLS ALL IN CANCER ON $5 A DAY-- CHEMO NOT INCLUDED:

This column today isn’t all doom and gloom. Its about recovery, beating the odds and then being alive to celebrate it. No one does that better than Monte Carlo headliner comedian Robert Schimmel. He even incorporates his cancer battle and subsequent victory into his act. He and I were dining at the new Brand Steakhouse in the resort on the 8th anniversary of the week he was first diagnosed with cancer.

When I told him I knew all about his amazing fight against the Big C, he ran off to his room and brought me back a copy of his new book Cancer On $5 a Day -- Chemo Not Included. It’s the remarkable story of how humor got him through the toughest journey of his life. Sadly, he’d experienced the tragic pain of the disease once before -- when his 11-year-old son, Derek, died from brain cancer.

Back in 2000, Robert was riding high. He’d just won Stand-Up Comic of the Year, and his HBO special was such a huge hit that Fox picked up his sitcom. But it all crashed down as he finished a stand-up comedy weekend at the Monte Carlo and was diagnosed with Stage 3 lymphoma. He had to undergo immediate chemotherapy. The sitcom was cancelled before filming began. He was given six months to live! Miraculously, though, exactly 12 months later he returned with his raunchy act to the Monte Carlo and included routines about cancer to show it hadn’t affected his spirit or his sense of humor.

Robert, who is a regular on both the Howard Stern and Conan O’Brien Shows, wants to do a reality TV series that includes the cancer battle as part of his wild comedic routines. I’ve just begun reading the book, and it is a brutally honest account of how one man stared down a deadly disease by using humor. One moment you are near teary-eyed, and the next you are laughing out loud. “I wrote it because the experience changed my life. These were the darkest days of my life,” he told me. “My humor reached my nurses and the other chemo patients. The encounter I had with the wig salesman was crazy -- and that’s why I go bald today. There was even humor to be found in the medicinal marijuana and laughter became my survival mechanism.”

Today, at every show, every performance -- including those at the Monte Carlo resort over the weekend -- cancer survivors and families who have lost loved ones to the disease meet him after the show to share their stories and his humor. Said his co-writer, Alan Eisenstock, “Cancer stirred him, awakened him and taught him how to love. His cancer story is a love story. He has extraordinary compassion – something that borders on the spiritual -- for cancer victims. Cancer gave him more comedy material but it also gave him more heart.”

JACKSON FAMILY REUNION COMEBACK SHOWS ARE NOT QUITE THE SURPRISE THEY SEEM:

A family reunion for the Jacksons made national news on the syndicated TV Show Extra, and locally when LaToya Jackson and her brother Jermaine walked the red carpet at the gala opening of the Palms Place. But this is 45-day-old news to Luxe Life readers, who will remember we told you that their former tour manager, Danny O’Donovan, from Beverly Hills, and patriarch Joe Jackson were in serious negotiations with a just-off-the-Strip nightclub for regular nightly Jackson Family comeback shows. Donovan was the brain behind the Prince contract run at the Rio here. LaToya told anchor host Tanika Ray: “We’re putting something together with the entire family -- including Janet -- and it’s coming soon. It’s going to happen and it’s going to be a big surprise.” Not quite a surprise to Luxe Life readers who knew all of this weeks ago when we told you they’d been back in a recording studio starting a new CD in advance of their hopes for the Vegas run.

‘COW’ HITCH-HIKERS DEFY MOTHER NATURE FOR JOE DIFFLE’S OPENING CONCERT:

Floods, mudslides and tornadoes couldn’t stop the Hooters hotel-casino cattle drive making its way to Vegas for the grand opening of Dixie’s Dam Country Bar. Ten orange-spotted cows, or rather people dressed in cow costumes hitchhiked their way to our Hooters resort casino here from 10 sister restaurants – after battling everything Mother Nature could throw at them en route! Country music legend Joe Diffle played to a packed house for the premiere show – and on hand were Michele Nunes, our local Miss Hooters International 2006 and 2008 calendar girl and the Rack Pack beauties.

Dixie’s is the only Strip country dance hall, and the all female staff were decked out in orange fringed halter tops and denim mini-shorts, while the bar beauties wore pink-fringed halters with the mini-shorts. Even Michele and the Rack Pack were in country-western mood with cowboy hats and boots and helped lead the fancy two-step dance moves. The 3,000-square-foot party place will feature live music and female DJs!

JENNA & TITO KEEP THE PARTY ROCKING:

Former adult-movie superstar Jenna Jameson and mixed martial arts champion fighter Tito Ortiz are partying all over town. They turned up kissy-faced in the luxe-lounge at chic sushi spot Social House at the TI for sashimi, sake and Japanese beers. Then they got even cozier as they high-tailed it down to the LAX nightclub in the Luxor. The lovestruck twosome relaxed in a luxurious loft and sipped Absolute Citron. Also partying at LAX were Sacramento Kings forward Kenny Thomas at his main stage VIP table enjoying Perrier Jouet Rose champagne, boxer Sugar Shane Mosely, MMA personality Frank Trigg, comedian Pauly Shore and reality TV star Khloe Kardashian. Khloe and Pauly wound up splitting for a quieter spot in the adjoining secret Noir Bar – and also hit Pure nightclub at Caesars Palace. Pauly grabbed the mic to pump up the crowd, which included gorgeous Sunset Tan beauty Molly Shea, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, Arizona Cardinals halfback J.J. Arrington, San Diego Chargers linebackers Shaun Phillips and Stephen Cooper, plus Formula One star Lewis Hamilton. Earlier, New England Patriots lineback Junior Seau hung out the PURE managed Venus topless optional European pool at Caesars where he basked in the beautiful sunshine from a VIP cabana ordering up chicken paninis and nachos with his Grey Goose cocktails.

Meantime, supermodel Joanna Krupa -- once named the “sexiest swimsuit model in the world” by Playboy magazine -- hosted a party at the Bank nightclub in the Bellagio for the exclusive timepiece company, Giantto Jewelry, where she is now the face of its amazing products. Reality TV star and Ryan Seacrest’s former galpal Shana Wall was along for the festivities, where one lucky club-goer actually won the latest Giantto Titanic timepiece. San Diego Charger Shaun Phillips continued his good times in Vegas with a visit to Jet nightclub in the Mirage, where he happily posed and signed autographs for fans.

Incidentally, the night I was at Brand in the Monte Carlo with Schimmel, legendary world’s No. 1 DJ Tiesto was there, too, enjoying a filet steak and lobster tail! Robert tucked into a filet also and the salad and then at the end of the meal. Executive Chef Brian Massie presented them with an array of the signature desserts.

STRIP SCRIBBLES:

-- It’s a huge Vegas night on PBS, with both Celine Dion and Rita Rudner starring in back-to-back specials. Harrah’s headliner Rita Rudner kicks off the Vegas night at 8 p.m. with her Live in Las Vegas stand-up special – and then at 9:15, Celine follows with A New Day special. It commemorates her historic five-year, sold-out run of record-breaking spectaculars at Caesars Palace. The HD special highlights 18 songs in the 90-minute show filmed in its entirety back in January of last year. More than 3 million people saw her memorable production at the Colosseum since it began there in March 2003. Both TV specials are part of the new pledge membership drive from the viewer supported Vegas PBS affiliate, which has a $170,000 fundraising goal this month.

-- Perky provocative Pamela “Princess of Pulchritude” Anderson wants to top her 83-daylong third marriage that began here in Vegas! She’s shooting a new TV reality series “Girl on the Loose’ which debuts in August. Pamela married porn-film-maker and poker player Rik Salomon at the Mirage between her Beauty of Magic shows with magician Hans Klok at Planet Hollywood last summer. It ended in an annulment after they split up permanently, which followed several interim breakups. Says Pamela: I’m not going to rule out a wedding while we are filming. There are men around and sometimes I can’t control myself. The show will reveal everything about my love life.”

-- Say it’s not true! Would-be actor, would-be rap artist, would-be Mr. Brit again -- yes Fed-Ex is back in the news again! He has been named “Father of the Year” and will be honored for his parenting skills at the Prive nightclub inside the Planet Hollywood resort casino at a special Father’s Day soiree next Friday (June 13) as midnight strikes! I’m simply speechless -– except to say, “Great publicity stunt.” He gets paid to make the appearance so whatever title he wins is simply a bonus to the paycheck!

-- Our hometown hero and boxing champion Floyd Mayweather has taken off for a mini-vacation in the Bahamas, where he discovered our Pure nightclub folks have the Aura Nightclub at the Atlantis resort casino. Faster than you can say “knockout,” he ordered up the Laurent Perrier rose champagne and Patron Silver that he drinks when he’s partying here. Kansas City Chiefs cornerback Patrick Surtain was in his party of friends.

-- Happy to tell you that our “Best in Show” dog-adoption rally, with John O’Hurley, Louie Anderson, Zowie Bowie and yours truly was a huge success, with 64 out of the 65 dogs being adopted at the Orleans Arena. The one remaining Jack Russell was placed in a temporary foster home, but news anchor Denise Valdez of KLAS Channel 8 was to show the terrier this morning on local TV with a special appeal to make it a 100-percent success story! It was so sad to hear the Animal Foundation horror stories of over 100 dogs a week now being abandoned and let loose as families move out because of home foreclosures during the economic downturn!

-- Message in the giant fortune cookie served with dessert at Tao Asian bistro at The Venetian: “Hold onto your secrets but release your inhibitions.” That could almost be the next Vegas advertising slogan!

-- First came two unbelievable smash-hit Walt Disney movies directed by my pal Kenny Ortega, who masterminded the Sirens show at TI. Now comes the touring stage adaptation of his High School Musical. It opens a five-night run this evening at the Planet Hollywood Theatre for the Performing Arts, and you can bet hundreds of screaming tweenagers will drag their parents along to see who gets to play Zach Efron in the role that shot him to super hunk stardom from the film versions. It’s a contemporary musical comedy, themed on the Romeo and Juliet story, about a popular high school basketball star and a shy academically gifted newcomer who discover they share a secret passion for singing. There’s a battle between “The Jocks” and “The Brainiacs” as the drama club members hatch convoluted plots to separate the twosome and keep them offstage. Call it a phenomenon akin to the fan worship of Elvis and the Beatles -- but this is Hannah Montana-type frenzy all over again.

TONIGHT'S TIP:

The Fremont Street Experience hosts the closing festivities of the 40th annual Travel Industry Association International Pow Wow, which is in Vegas for the first time in 19 years. There’s a red-carpet arrival plus tribute bands and performers, live action stunts and Fremont Street Experience’s signature Viva Vision light and sound show. The 10 downtown Las Vegas hotel-casinos that are part of Fremont Street Experience – Binion’s, California, Fitzgeralds, Four Queens, Fremont, Golden Gate, Golden Nugget, Main Street Station, Plaza and Vegas Club – will serve guest delegates with elaborate food and beverage stations representing the properties. … In addition to the frenzied screaming for Disney’s High School Musical opening at the Planet Hollywood Theatre for the Performing Arts tonight through Sunday, rock royals reign at the House of Blues when Nonpoint adds its special guests The Exies, Deepfield and Under the Flood to the “Most Wanted Tour” lineup starting 5pm for a long night of heavy music. … The Beatles Revolution lounge at the Mirage kicks off the debut night of Rocket Wednesday.

TOMORROW'S TEASE :

Our exclusive interview with hip-hop superstar Nelly, who will be at Red Rock Resort this weekend, meeting 100 of America’s luckiest fans. He’ll also perform for them in a private concert! Luxe Life also dines with the Donald at his new restaurant in the Trump International Tower and asks Andre Agassi how he spends his “time” now that the French Open, Wimbledon and the U.S. Open tennis season is underway!

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