Las Vegas Weekly

July 28, 2009 · 3:06 PM

Don Marrandino roast features Donny & Marie, X Girls and other stars

By Robin Leach

Don Marrandino and Alizma at the premiere of Smokey Robinson Presents: Human Nature at the Imperial Palace.

Photo: Erik Kabik/Retna/www.erikkabikphoto.com

Hard to believe that after you rake your boss over the coals that you’d get a same-night renewal of your contract! But that’s exactly what happened with the topless dancers of X Burlesque at the Flamingo, and although there was no official announcement yet about a two-year-contract extension for Donny and Marie Osmond there, I’m reliably told that we can expect it soon.

The X Burlesque beauties have signed on for another three years! My rival gossip guru Norm Clarke quoted Flamingo President Don Marrandino from Don’s weekend roast and birthday celebration saying he’s extended Donny and Marie through 2012, ensuring a three-year-run that ties in neatly with Marie’s new syndicated TV show broadcasting from Las Vegas this fall.

Photo: Flamingo Las Vegas

Shakeera, Cher and Jennifer of X Burlesque.

Since Don’s roast was a private affair, there are no official press photos. But we’ve managed to get some of the best quotes from the stars who put their head honcho’s feet to the fire! Savage comic Vinnie Favorito was emcee for the night and turned his sharp knife of caustic, biting humor on everybody.

Flamingo magic star Nathan Burton produced “Mini Marrandino,” a little person in a blond wig and dressed in a suit who was introduced as Don’s replacement as the new executive in charge at Harrah’s, Imperial Palace, O’Sheas and Flamingo! The little person flipped for X Burlesque and Men of X producer Angela Stabile and then pretended to pass out! It was a savage joke aimed right at the president to say once you get to his age, you have to take a nap right after touching a sexy woman!

Photo: Erik Kabik/Retna/www.erikkabikphoto.com

Marie Osmond and Flamingo President Don Marrandino.

Marie Osmond received tons of laughs with her roast that even included a tip of her hat to me: “Don really schmoozed me to come to Vegas. He had Luxor President Felix Rappaport texting me, ‘Hey, Don’s a good guy.’ He had Robin Leach kicking me under the table, saying that Don is the best. Don, you told me that I was the only one for you. You said you’d take me on your private jet to Cabo, Mexico. You promised dinners, spa, shopping, anything I wanted. Right! ... Once I moved here, he started hitting on my daughter! ... I've heard Don refer to himself as a prophet. Most of the prophets I've heard about were surrounded by a group of men. So, Don, you should call yourself the sultan because they have a harem!”

Photo: Harrah's

Donny Osmond plays rock hero at the Flamingo.

Brother Donny Osmond admitted that roast master Vinnie had written his speech, and thus couldn’t use one word of it: “It would be bleep, bleep, bleep, Don Marrandino, bleep, bleep.” He continued: “When I first heard that I was going to meet Don Marrandino, I did some research and found out his stature in Vegas, and I was ready to kiss his ring ... and then I met him. But I soon came to find out that we have a lot in common. Like brothers. I come from a big family. He comes from family, too. Well, actually, five families, very well organized, all over the country. We do have music in common, too. I do it professionally. He does it in a fantasy world. I'm kidding, of course. Don is an avid rock guitarist who had played with a lot of bands onstage. I went to see him play one night, and he looked great. He was really rockin’ out. If his guitar was plugged in, it could have really been something. I have never seen someone play air guitar with a real guitar!”

Photo: Tom Donoghue/www.donoghuephotography.com

Imperial Palace headliners Human Nature.

Country king Toby Keith, who owns I Love This Bar & Grill at Harrah’s, sent his roast via a pre-recorded video. The highlight of the night, though, was when Human Nature, the new song-and-dance foursome from Down Under now at Imperial Palace, roasted Don to the tune of “Tracks of My Tears”:

People say no one makes life a party like Don Marrandino can

Although he might be getting old and flabby

He’s still a ladies man

But take a good look at his face

There’s lines and wrinkles all over the place

And there’s a few extra pounds on his waist

Happy 50 years

Now everybody knows that Don is always in the gym

Working on the size of his guns

Although he thinks he’s cute, he's got some work to do, to beat

His Aussie Motown chums

So take a good look at his face

There’s lines and wrinkles all over the place

And there’s a few extra pounds on his waist

Happy 50 years

Just take a good look at his face

A nip and tuck wouldn’t be outta place

But for an old fart, he’s still looking great

Happy 50 years

Don took the ribbing from one and all in stride, and then promptly fired everybody! I’m told everyone was rehired an hour later, so it’s back to business as usual!

Robin Leach has been a journalist for more than 50 years and has spent the past decade giving readers the inside scoop on Las Vegas, the world’s premier platinum playground.

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