Las Vegas Weekly

February 14, 2010 · 6 PM

Hitched! Andrew Dice Clay weds in Las Vegas on Valentine’s Day

By Robin Leach

Andrew Dice Clay at Sushi Samba's SugarCane Live! in the Palazzo.

Photo: Scott Harrison/Retna/www.harrisonphotos.com

Foul-mouthed comedian Andrew Dice Clay hid his four-letter-word frenzy he normally dishes in favor of a simple “I do” at a surprise and secret Valentine’s Day wedding here in Las Vegas.

This evening, the controversial comic, who is still banned on MTV, married his makeup artist girlfriend Valerie Vasquez on the first anniversary of their first date. We’ll have exclusive wedding photos here at Vegas DeLuxe and on my Twitter account a little later.

It was a simple candlelit evening without security at the romantic Rainbow Gardens with 100 friends and family, including his two teen sons. Fellow comic Tom Green and Dice’s opening act, ex-female wrestler turned comedienne Eleanor Kerrigan, with whom I’m seated, also attended the wedding. Dice’s rabbi traveled from L.A. to perform the Jewish service under the chuppah.

In an interview before the exchange of vows and after my chat with him earlier this week, Dice, 52, told me: “You have seen me here with her in Las Vegas every time I’ve come in. You see how I am with her. I am really, really crazy about this girl. I couldn’t even believe that I could feel like this. I never thought I would be loyal to anybody again ever after what I have gone through in the last eight years.”

Dice, who was divorced in 2002, has raised his two sons on his own since then. “I don’t know how or why, but the second Valerie and I met, that was it.”

The entertainer, who was first to be fired on Donald Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice 2, couldn’t resist bringing humor to the happy day.

“I really used to have a roving eye, a roving two eyes. There was a time when I would have loved to be Tiger (Woods’) best friend. I hated the guys who play golf until this guy proved to me that 18 holes just wasn’t enough. I want lessons from the guy. I want to be his best friend. I hated the game of golf until that happened. It is unbelievable how angry people got that this guy was finally having a good time in his life.

“When he was on the golf course, it was almost like, ‘Oh, he is the greatest, he got some extra booty, that’s wrong? No, that’s wrong for you. A guy with $100 million, he is allowed. I don’t know why I believe that, but I just believe that if you have accomplished something that much, there has to be more to your life than putting a little white ball in the ground. You know what I mean? Especially when you are in your 30s and you have got chicks on the sidelines just drooling at you out of their underwear. There’s got to be, and that’s it, and that is how I really feel about it.”

I tried to steer our chat back to his romance and marriage, not an easy task with a man who makes a savage joke every 10 seconds! But finally he continued: “Comedy comes from the truth, and that’s what I am saying. If you are going to pick one woman you know that you are going to marry, she better be the one that you can’t take your eyes or your hands off.

“Otherwise, you will cheat. I am just crazy in love with this girl. We have been talking marriage since our first date, and my two roving eyes have been long put away. We’ve been dating for a year, and it is just great. She is just a great girl. We decided to get married on the anniversary of our first date.

Dice was determined to make it a wedding to remember: “It is going to be a fun thing. I have never done a wedding like this, where you actually come down the aisle. I have been married twice. Once was in a courtroom with a judge because this chick told me she was pregnant. The second time was with the mother of my children, which we just did at a temple with two witnesses and a rabbi. So this time it is the real thing. It is not a crazy wedding, but we will be able to look back and go, ‘Wasn’t that fun?’ Like a real memory to last forever.

“I had a friend ask me if I could walk away right now, would I? I go ‘no way.’ I have been looking for this girl my whole life. She is everything I never thought I would find in life. The minute I saw her tattoos, I went, ‘Oh my God, what is this tough f------ chick. But she is the sweetest thing in the world. Just don’t make her mad!”

Last night, the pre-wedding dinner was at Strip House in Planet Hollywood with five friends. Dice says he’ll be on The George Lopez Show on March 4, followed by The Howard Stern Show, and he plans to talk about his new marriage and new yearlong residency here at the Las Vegas Hilton.

He summed up: “This is a very big year for me. The Hilton gig. The 20th anniversary of the Ford Fairlane film and taking that out to arenas. And the wedding. It simply doesn’t get better than that.”

Check back to Vegas DeLuxe and Twitter.com/Robin_Leach for more of our story and photos.

Updated @6:51 p.m.:

Live from the wedding:

We are all here looking at the chuppah. It’s all white with two vases of stunning white flowers. Red roses are being sprinkled down the white carpet. My tablemate here is Eleanor Kerrigan, who was engaged to Dice four years ago! He got her into comedy. She still opens for him, and there’s no problem between Valerie and her. The candles have been lit. We’re waiting for the walk. There’s a lot of buzz about Valerie’s dress.

It’s underway. Rabbi tells the story of their meeting at a Super Bowl party last year. Rabbi reads a Valentine’s Day card that Dice wrote for Valerie to be read aloud at the service. Dice describes her as a gift from heaven. Dice wrote God himself arranged this union. Rabbi sings the song Valerie sang to Dice on his answering machine one month after they met: “Can’t Help Falling in Love.”

The service is fairly long. Did vows, now blessing, then wine, then breaking glass. Dice wants to get to the kissing part when they are officially declared a married couple. The marriage becomes official at 6:40 p.m. Their first dance, which becomes a marathon kiss, is to Etta James’ “At Last.”

Robin Leach has been a journalist for more than 50 years and has spent the past decade giving readers the inside scoop on Las Vegas, the world’s premier platinum playground.

Follow Robin Leach on Twitter at Twitter.com/Robin_Leach.

Follow Vegas DeLuxe on Twitter at Twitter.com/vegasdeluxe.

Follow VDLX Editor Don Chareunsy on Twitter at Twitter.com/VDLXEditorDon.

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