When we heard Jon & Kate Plus 8’s Jon Gosselin would be hosting at Wet Republic this Saturday, we were a bit confused. What is this father of multiples currently going through a much-publicized divorce doing in Vegas? And publicly partying it up, no less? We thought his gallivanting with barely-legal girlfriends was bad enough, but Gosselin has hit a new low and is threatening to take Vegas party-goers down with him. That got us thinking: Who would be an even stranger or more inappropriate party host than the Audigier-clad dad? Thanks to an informal office poll, here are the results.
If having a passel of children is what it takes to get your face on a flyer for a Vegas shin-dig, Nadya Denise Doud-Suleman Gutierrez has it in the diaper bag. Besides, we’re guessing she could use the money from the appearance to help wean her dependence on public assistance.
Relationships outside of marriage are popular amongst party hosts, so our senator is the perfect candidate for this job. Co-hosts could be contestants from the reality show Wife Swap.
Governor Milorad "Rod" Blagojevich:
Scandal and that sweet coif of hair aside, the dude’s got mad karaoke skills and could croon a few Elvis songs as the entertainment for the evening.
Hmm… a Fox News personality, recovering addict and Mormon. Who’s ready to be scrutinized for living it up in Vegas?
Jigsaw from the Saw movies:
You think you’re going to drink and dance all night long…
Jenna and Barbara Bush:
Former president George W. Bush’s daughters are hot in that super-conservative you-know-they-have-a-wild-side kinda way. If you get enough booze in them, maybe they’ll make out.
Wait, has he hosted a party here yet? Former sports stars love the clubs (Hi, Mike Tyson. See you at Seamless later? Michael Phelps, can you pass the dutchie on the left-hand side?). And murderers, kidnappers and thieves like to have a good time, too. Allegedly.
Likely celebrating the launch of another handbag line, any female party-goers wearing a blue dress drink for free all night. Complimentary cigars for the guys.
An unwed teen mother from a politically conservative and religious background surrounded by booze and debauchery – what’s not to like? If she’s poolside, maybe Bristol can borrow her mother’s American flag bikini. (Yeah, we know that photo was a fake, but still…)
Madoff probably won’t make it through his 150-year prison sentence in time to down a bottle of Goose poolside, but should he arrive in Vegas ready to party, we’re thinking a private event for all the folks he defrauded is apropos. If security happens to get lost on the way to the bathroom, we won’t tell anyone.
Actually, we’d attend that event. Chuck Norris would roundhouse kick us if we didn’t.