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An open(ly snarky) letter to GQ Magazine

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It’s time to drink at the 70th birthday celebration for Mayor Oscar Goodman at the Golden Nugget on July 31.
Photo: Erik Kabik/Retna/www.erikkabikphoto.com

Dear GQ,

We, the drinkers of Las Vegas, wanted to pass on to you our sincere condolences.

For only a serious tragedy or death in the family could possibly have commanded your attention long enough to forget to even give Las Vegas a courtesy nod in your article The 10 Best Drinking Cities in America, (September, 2009).

Hey, we understand! When drunk—and, hey, that’s pretty often!—we Las Vegans forget stuff, too! Like to pick up a hard copy of your magazine ($4.50 plus tax). Seriously, guys, we’re soooo sorry!

It’s just that we’re out partying, like, all the time in our gazillion nightclubs, ultralounges, mixology bars and lounges. And then, of course, there are the pool parties, the scene-y restaurants, neighborhood taverns, afterhours joints, private shindigs in the Fantasy Suites, the convention parties … Well, you get the idea.

Seriously, GQ, where's the love?

Even in a down economy, honestly, it’s party, party, party every single night of the week! We hardly get a moment to rest. Between the daytime pool parties, the prime time events and afterhours, Vegas is partying 24 hours straight! Even our Mayor’s personal drinking habits are sponsored by a liquor company! Seriously.

We really need a rest, some downtime, somewhere with a last call … Maybe Manhattan? Think we could crash on your couch?

And far be it from us to nit pick… But you must have been so busy playing with pomade for that piece on manscaping (we especially loved that part where you said guys should ask their male friends who does their hair. Priceless!) that you forgot that Social House has just closed and Ivan Kane’s Forty Deuce has been shut down for many months now; the two are still prominently featured in your GQ online guide to Las Vegas.

Hey, it’s cool, bros! Maybe you just need a drink. The Bombay Sapphire/GQ Magazine’s “Most Inspired Bartender” national finals are being held—natch—in Sin City this coming Monday at the Palms, so we’ll have to catch up over a cocktail or 10.

Love,

Las Vegas

P.S.: Good call on including Salt Lake City. Utah does throw a mighty bitchin’ party.

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