Spandex? Tight. Knee socks? Riding high. Roller skates? Five hundred pairs of lace-up, four-wheeled goodness.
The Down & Derby disco roller party skated into Rain on Thursday night, and we survived the bash without wiping out or unintentionally sending anyone skidding. (Thanks roller gods!) Initially at the Beauty Bar, the retro roller skating party fit into its new home as snugly as a pair of American Apparel lamé leggings on a skate bunny. Rain already has a large circular wooden dance floor in the center, and with the VIP booths pushed back to form an instant barricade for rogue amateurs on $5-rented quads, you could almost imagine the space was a legitimate roller rink in a past (or future) life.
Entertainment for the evening came in the form of a few expert roller skaters who seemed to have coasted straight out of Roller Boogie with afro wigs and sick moves intact. Who knows where someone learns to quad-skate break dance in 2009, but color us impressed by their funky free styling under the disco ball. In fact, they almost made us want to hit up a real local rink before the next party to get our own skills up to par.
We've already committed to attending the next edition of D&D and not just because of all those short shorts and knee socks. It's the glassware. Actually, glassware might be a bit of a misnomer. Rain's T-shirt-clad bar staff served cocktails in plastic sippy cups complete with snap-on lids and bendy straws. Brilliant for keeping skaters from dousing the rink — and each other — they'd be great for navigating crowded dance floors at any old party and avoiding sentencing yet another garment to a depressing vodka-cranberry demise.
As for that next party we're hoping to hear the words "Couples skate!" from the DJ booth. Maybe we could finally make up for our awkward youth and get the chance to take a trip around the rink hand in hand with a hottie to a New Kids on the Block ballad. Sigh. And a safe place to stash our shoes would be nice.
If you want to take part in Down & Derby on January 21 at Rain, remember these vital tips: Keep moving; reverse directions when you're told; and don't forget to wave to the grandmotherly woman in the sequined disco hat on the sideline.