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September 19, 2009 · 12:12 PM

Salt Lake City is the real Jerusalem, and other revelations from Neon Reverb

By April Corbin

Jacob Smigel performed Friday at Bunkhouse as a part of Neon Reverb.

Photo: April Corbin

Jacob Smigel has a loyal fan base, and they like to shout at him.

"I came all the way from Portland to see you," one fan and friend belted out at the Bunkhouse on day two of Neon Reverb. Not impressed, Smigel replied, "Well, I drove from Phoenix to get here" and regaled the crowd with tales of a Dukes of Hazard-like jump over the Hoover Dam bridge in his rental car.

The Vegas local, who now attends medical school in Arizona, was forced to play a painfully short set, but Smigel was energetic and well-received by the audience. One song, which Smigel refers to as a protest song of the inconsequential, accepts fault for the easy-to-commit but kind-of-dumbass errors every day people make. Can't tell sugar from salt because they look the same? Turn on the wrong burner, despite the clear icons printed on the oven? It's OK. It happens to the best of us, even future doctors.

In honor of Smigel's return, here are three things you shouldn't fault yourself for not knowing.

1. Salt Lake City is the real Jerusalem.

So said a hipster standing outside of Bunkhouse before Black Camero's performance. The revelation began with someone admitting he was born and raised in Utah. The requisite "So, are you Mormon?" followed. Yes, the hipster was raised in the Church of Latter-Day Saints. "I even graduated cemetery," he said, before shaking his head and realizing his mistake. "I mean seminary."

2. Always carry tissue in your purse.

Typical of a Friday night at the Bunkhouse, the restroom for little cowgirls lacked toilet paper. One girl called out from the stall, asking for someone to fork over one of the paper towels from the sink. Better prepared downtown regulars know to carry a travel-sized pack of tissues in your purse. When you inevitably catch some sort of flu or cold from burning the midnight oil too long, you'll need those tissues then, too.

Coffee bongs are vastly superior to beer bongs.

Coffee bongs are vastly superior to beer bongs.

3. It is perfectly acceptable to drink coffee through a beer bong.

This knowledge came care of Smigel's newest rap song, on which he collaborates with his brother. The song is about staying up all night. What should you do after drinking coffee via beer bong? Whatever the hell you want. The song suggests stocking shelves all night, but we have other ideas. Hit up your local Starbucks and check out Smigel's second Neon Reverb performance tonight at Meet Lounge.

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