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Stripped

Tales of the naked city, from a Las Vegas dancer.

11.1.09 · 11:48 AM

A Halloween in yoga pants, playing spectator, is just fine

I walked into the club when the music was blaring. The place has one of the shittiest sound systems in all of Vegas. A few steps in, I stumbled into some black light. I noticed dog hair glowing on my clothes. I was wearing what I had been wearing the last time I slept: yoga pants and a wife beater. I don’t do yoga. My hair was unwashed and pulled back into a messy bun. I was there for the ... Read more...

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10.30.09 · 10:37 AM

I take a respite — but did I actually quit stripping?

I haven’t gone to work since the night of the police raid. It sort of prompted a vacation that never found an ending like a catnap from which I never awoke. I rarely work during the week because of school and I got sick over the weekend, so I didn’t work then either. Sometimes I just feel sick when I’m getting ready for work like my body knows we might be able to make an excuse to avoid being in ... Read more...

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10.19.09 · 10:42 PM

Touch your body, get a citation — is this right?

Sometime in the past few days, I showed up at work just hours after the police were there, handing out citations like party flyers. I heard that one girl got a citation for touching her own breasts. We’re violating the law by touching our own bodies. Does that sound weird to anyone else? I asked about the police activity within earshot of the owner who interjected, “Follow the rules and you have nothing to worry about.” I know that they ... Read more...

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10.8.09 · 12:59 PM

Sucking (on a straw) can get a stripper a citation — how stupid is that?

So I’ve been reading that the police want a new code to give to officers, so they have more power to cite dancers for improper touching. I think this is just stupid. It is absolutely stupid if their ultimate goal is to get dancers to give clean dances. If they seek to reduce prostitution, well, that’s a different issue. Handing out a few citations will hardly put a dent in that problem. So the main goal, which is (or should ... Read more...

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10.6.09 · 8:48 PM

Trying to make out “tiny” is a real stretch

I was up to my eyeballs in leather and ink. The weekend of bikefest and the biggest tattoo show on earth is over. The bikers had tattoos and the tattoo people dressed like bikers so the crowd was fairly homogenized. I’m not personally a fan of motorcycles or tattoos. I lost a loved one in a little motorcycle incident, and roadkill always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t think people should not ride motorcycles. I’m just not ... Read more...

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10.2.09 · 1:13 PM

The clubs can turn dark in more ways than one

Topless and mid-lap dance, the lights shut off when the power went out at work. The music stopped. My heart stopped, too, like it had also been running on electricity. I am so scared of the dark. With out missing a beat, a full club began to cheer and clap. I protectively put my arm over my chest and sat on a very drunk patron’s lap, not really being able to see anything or do much else. On the far ... Read more...

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10.1.09 · 9:46 AM

My friend’s turning 21, and when that happens — look out

My friend’s 21st birthday is this week. She is currently a stripper in an all-nude club because she is still under 21. When the day comes and the law permits, I will be helping her transition into the world of alcohol and unremoved G-strings. I can’t wait. We’ll wear matching wigs and obnoxious neon costumes. Maybe we’ll do a good cop/bad cop routine or some other partner-ly antics. If my memory serves me, I believe I met her randomly in ... Read more...

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09.22.09 · 1:47 PM

More than breakfast served to obnoxious, alpha douchebag

The security guard asks me, “Have you ever seen that movie Hangover?” I looked at him without answering, because I know where he’s going with that question and it’s irrelevant my complaint. He turns to my friend who says she has seen it. We have just been harassed by a group of drunk men while we were having breakfast after work inside a casino café. The security guard explains, like we don’t know, that tourists come to Vegas and behave ... Read more...

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09.15.09 · 11:31 PM

Hue’s on first: The graying is ceaseless, as is the analysis

Taking a closer look in the mirror, I’ve been examining my gray hair lately. It’s whiter, really. It’s white and defiantly thick like cat whiskers. I’ve grown stray white hairs since I was about 17 years old. Over the past year, I’ve been getting my hair professionally dyed various hues of light colors that are unnatural to me and that look especially unnatural next to my racially ambiguous features. It is fun and expensive to buy a new look. It’s ... Read more...

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09.10.09 · 3:02 PM

Distracted? Even my toenail polish seems fascinating

With a bit of time to kill before class, I’m writing from the school’s computer lab. School, stripping and life in general are going exceedingly well. Doing school over again, I’ve made it a point to change the habits that became detrimental to my successful completion of assignments. I feel like I’m a thousand times more easily distracted by simple things than most other people and that is a thing I need to be conscious of. I need to sit ... Read more...

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Cocktail of the Week

Cocktail of the Week Nov 5, 2009
by Xania Woodman

Beergarita

It was quite by happenstance that I came upon the beergarita, or perhaps it found me. I was blissfully unaware of the house-party staple’s existence until two glasses literally put ...
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