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Stripped

Tales of the naked city, from a Las Vegas dancer.


November 22, 2008 · 1:36 PM

Inevitably, Mr. Cognac Breath resorts to violence

By Justice

Illustration: Justice

Fast asleep in the late morning of a weekday, I get a call from one of my stripper friends. “Hey” I answer, still half asleep and extremely comfortable in my high thread-count sheets with my two snuggly dogs. She was working in another state at the time. She asks, “What are you up to?” I answer honestly. “Nothing. You?” She explains to me that her boyfriend, who goes by some ridiculous alias, is at a bar on the opposite side of town. His friends just got arrested so he has no ride and he has no money for a cab. “Could you please, please, please pick him up and take him home?” she asks me. “I’ll owe you big time” she says, like she could give me anything I want or need that would be better than staying in bed. “Umm. Ok,” I tell her. “But it will be a minute. I’m in bed.” I crawled out of bed, threw on any article of clothing I found on the floor and drove to the bar.

“Who the hell is this guy? And why is he at a bar on a Tuesday morning?” I’m wondering, driving down the freeway. I arrive at the bar. It has a façade of fake logs. It’s a really classy joint, apparently. Then I find the boyfriend outside. I wave at him and he runs over and gets in my car. He is a thirty-something year old black male and he is wearing a wife-beater. I think. I’m still half asleep.

I remember that he reeked of cognac. He had been up all night and frequently stays up for long periods of 24 hours or more. It helps him get inspired to make great music. He is unemployed but is trying to make it in the music industry. It is a long drive back to his home in Henderson, so I have to talk to him about something, maybe about something we have in common. “So jail really sucks,” I reminisce. He agrees. Then we talk about southern food. I think food is a safe topic. I’d guess I’m more knowledgeable about food than most people, to toot my own horn. “The food in jail really sucks,” I add. See how I tailored that conversation to fit the awkward situation?

Where am I going with this story anyway? Well, I’m trying to paint the picture of an example of what one would call a “stripper boyfriend.” Strippers are notorious for ending up in strangely bad relationships with stereotypical loser types. Most of the strippers that I can think of who are in monogamous relationships are financially supporting their partners entirely. Many of these boyfriends have had trouble with the law. I can think of more than one stripper who also gets physically abused by her lover. Inside a jail cell at the Clark County Detention Center, a stripper explained to me that her boyfriend struck her not because he is a violent person but because he wanted respect. That is an interesting relationship dynamic.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are strippers with sugar daddies. Sugar daddies are very financially comfortable and take care of strippers’ expenses and shower them with luxurious gifts. In return, there is a varying degree of involvement ranging from light dating to a nearly monogamous pseudo-relationship. Though this type of thing is a pretty sweet deal, the situation is not entirely healthy. I’d argue it is still a better situation than getting beaten and giving up all your money.

I am single. I am fairly certain that being single is the healthiest relationship status a stripper could maintain. I can’t think of any stripper with a well-balanced, monogamous relationship. I think it is, however, possible. Oh by the way, did I mention I was single? If you score very high on standardized tests, give me a call. I’m into that. A girl has needs!

Anyway, Mr. Cognac breath eventually got violent with my friend the stripper. I don’t believe I have yet made it clear to her that I will never help him again. She was so banged up, she had to miss work for a while. Though she forgives the violence, I just can’t. I’m not so saintly.

5 Comments So Far

reading your blog is mentialy confusing, i just cannot believe that so much insight comes from a dancer, its almost if you are a writer pretending to be a stripper...or someone doing research for a graduate degree in human behavior. whatever the deal im sure your intelectual personality must get really bored in stripper world, unless your stripper personality emerges and takes over (are there any other personalities?) anyway i enjoy your unique take or your coworkers and the profession you write about...justice, humm i know that has some meaning, and im sure you think its clever...i guess ill have to wait for the book to come out, or the showtime miniseries....

Posted by: james on 11/23/08 at 8:02 p.m. (Suggest removal)

James,

Thank you so much.

-Justice

Posted by: Justice_4_all on 11/23/08 at 8:48 p.m. (Suggest removal)

So which do you think you'll do longer, dance or stay single? Given the intelligence that your writing demonstrates, I'm guessing dance. The column I'd love to read is- Justice meets the great guy, life keeps getting better, she changes careers and chuckles for years about her experiences in the clubs...

did i mention i ended up with a full ride at college due to some way high test scores? :)

ps. I just don't get how men can beat up women, I thought that was always the first rule of relationships, non negotiable, period.

Posted by: rhinodude on 11/24/08 at 10:23 a.m. (Suggest removal)

If you think that it's hard for a stripper to maintain a relationship ( especially here in LV ), what about the women who aren't in the strip club industry and still attracts the same men ??

Posted by: teleray23 on 11/24/08 at 1:36 p.m. (Suggest removal)

It seems to go both ways. In a city of so many vices it is inevitable to have a hard time finding a "quality" partner. I am on the single male side, and I have a hard time finding someone who isn't heavy into drugs, drinking, gambling, etc

Posted by: baldeagle on 12/1/08 at 4:36 p.m. (Suggest removal)

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