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Stripped

Tales of the naked city, from a Las Vegas dancer.


April 12, 2009 · 10:13 PM

With this ring, I thee wed … a rare tip from a customer

By Justice

Illustration: Justice

“Have you ever been in love?” a drunk woman asks me at the bar of a strip club. She is pudgy, with straight, flat, dishwater-brown hair. She is pale with freckles and has one of those chins that blends with the neck. Reminds me of a sausage with facial features. Expecting my answer to be “no,” she stares at me with bloodshot, ice-blue eyes. “Yeah. I think I have been.” She’s not convinced. She persists. “I mean really, really, really in love? Have you experienced that?” I give up. “I don’t know. I guess not.” What is love anyway? Chemical reaction in the brain? Yeah, I’ve experienced that. It’s biological. I’m “in love” several times a week. I don’t think that’s what she’s talking about, though.

She tells me she has experienced love like no other. She elaborates but I don’t care. She thinks it’s unfortunate that I haven’t loved like she has. Her thick white arms are around me and her hands are wandering. It’s oddly comforting. I compliment her wedding ring. She gives it to me and insists I keep it. I insist I don’t. “Here. Don’t lose this.” I take her left hand and put it back on a plump finger. She takes it off and gives it back to me. “Promise me you’ll wear it.” It fits loosely on my thumb. I promise her I will and I put it on my skinny black dog collar. “Maybe it will bring you luck,” she hopes. “It already has,” I think. It’s not every day you get a wedding ring. It is certainly the strangest tip I’ve ever received at work.

2 Comments So Far

Love makes the world go round and it is also responsible for most of the shootings on wicked Colfax Avenue in Denver or wicked Hennepin Avenue in Minneapolis any given Saturday night. Love is wonderful. Making decisions based on love makes you crazy. Love makes you do strange things like moving to Denver with no prospective job. But I join the lady in wishing you good luck.

Posted by: rrbill on 4/13/09 at 6:16 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I gave a set of those away my damn self. I think I must have pledged to the 'or poorer' vow and she spoke up to the 'For richer' part. Words of love. Enjoy the tip as we enjoy yours...

Posted by: jalamajohn on 4/14/09 at 3:13 p.m. (Suggest removal)

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