Las Vegas Weekly

April 12, 2009 · 10:13 PM

With this ring, I thee wed … a rare tip from a customer

By Justice

Illustration: Justice

“Have you ever been in love?” a drunk woman asks me at the bar of a strip club. She is pudgy, with straight, flat, dishwater-brown hair. She is pale with freckles and has one of those chins that blends with the neck. Reminds me of a sausage with facial features. Expecting my answer to be “no,” she stares at me with bloodshot, ice-blue eyes. “Yeah. I think I have been.” She’s not convinced. She persists. “I mean really, really, really in love? Have you experienced that?” I give up. “I don’t know. I guess not.” What is love anyway? Chemical reaction in the brain? Yeah, I’ve experienced that. It’s biological. I’m “in love” several times a week. I don’t think that’s what she’s talking about, though.

She tells me she has experienced love like no other. She elaborates but I don’t care. She thinks it’s unfortunate that I haven’t loved like she has. Her thick white arms are around me and her hands are wandering. It’s oddly comforting. I compliment her wedding ring. She gives it to me and insists I keep it. I insist I don’t. “Here. Don’t lose this.” I take her left hand and put it back on a plump finger. She takes it off and gives it back to me. “Promise me you’ll wear it.” It fits loosely on my thumb. I promise her I will and I put it on my skinny black dog collar. “Maybe it will bring you luck,” she hopes. “It already has,” I think. It’s not every day you get a wedding ring. It is certainly the strangest tip I’ve ever received at work.

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