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Stripped

Tales of the naked city, from a Las Vegas dancer.


February 11, 2009 · 10:02 AM

As Valentine’s Day nears, I wonder, am I single?

By Justice

Illustration: Justice

Single on Valentine’s Day? You can always go to a strip club and rent some company. Last year, one guy spent a whole shift with me. People get really emotional on these made-up holidays. I’m not sure if I am an exception. I don’t know if I will even be at work that day this year. My relationship status is not exactly clear to me. Maybe I’m two parts single and three parts taken. There is mounting evidence that I might not be single anymore. He used the word “girlfriend” one time but he threw up a lot of vodka soon after saying it, which probably nullifies that contract. I use the word “boyfriend” in reference to him but not in his presence. I once left a toothbrush in his bathroom. A simple plastic tool left by the sink has a great deal of weight behind it. It’s like planting a flag in the soil of a new territory and claiming it as your own. The way dogs urinate on fire hydrants, women strategically plant their toothbrushes. Years ago, I found a toothbrush in a boyfriend’s bathroom and it wasn’t his or mine. “Whose toothbrush is that?” I investigated. “It’s my friend’s” he defended. A likely story.

I deposit other relationship artifacts at his house too. I retire my stripper shoes to his house. When the soles of 6-inch stripper shoes wear out, it can be hazardous to keep wearing them to work but they’re still great for home use, especially if we have nearly a whole foot in height difference. Many shiny black and red high heels litter his house. They peak out from under the couch and from the side of the nightstand. Relationship debris lurks around every corner.

It could also be argued that I am still single. The toothbrush is no longer there and wasn’t there for very long. There was nothing especially strategic about it either. I just failed to remove the evidence. Every shoe or pair of panties that is or has been there got there by necessity or accident. There are other indicators of a low level of seriousness too. We haven’t been seeing each other for more than a few months. He has never met my dog and has never given me a ride to the airport. Perhaps we bond because we both share a deep fear of commitment. Sometimes I go out with male friends just to remind myself that I’m independent. I’m physically and emotionally exclusive to just the one guy, though.

Anyway, judgment day is coming, or as the rest of you call it, “Valentine’s Day.” I have had a handful of customers offer to bring me flowers that day. I have to admit; it might feel weird if the only people who get me flowers this year are customers. It’s going to be hard but I’ll try not to put too many expectations on the weekend. If it doesn’t pan out, if there are no red roses or chalky candy hearts, I can always go to work where my company is appreciated.

5 Comments So Far

I recently started dating a dancer. We call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. We have talked about moving in and all.

I know Saturday is a big money making day but I want to take her out. If she decides to work instead of go out with me how should I take that?

Posted by: sionic on 2/12/09 at 10:21 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Valentine's day is bittersweet. For the past decade I was the patron of a Denver strip club where the comely bartender's middle name was Valentine, and she was born on that saint's day. Now she has moved on with a fine new husband to Texas, but on her birthday the club was always full of red, white, hearts, flowers, chocolate and also by many toasts raised by folks without anyplace else to go. Happy Valentine's Day Mrs. H, wherever you are.
There are worse places to be than at a strip club on V-Day.

Posted by: rrbill on 2/13/09 at 4:43 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Sionic,

You would have to ask her. People have different motivations for the same behavior. She might really need the money. She also might not think of Valentine's Day as an especially important time, no matter how much she likes you. Take her out on a nice date on another night if she plans to work. Romance is not limited to a single day. Either way, I'd say you should have the utmost understanding for her motivations and behavior if you think she might be the right person to share a home with.

Justice

Posted by: Justice_4_all on 2/14/09 at 1:15 a.m. (Suggest removal)

It is Valentines Day and I hope it finds you happy.......mine is a bit bittersweet as well as my husband of 16+ years is currently in Afghanistan. We instant messaged over the computer, but it isn't the same.....LOL.....so I hope this Valentines Day is good for you.......I am in my pj's eating red and white m&m's...;-)

Posted by: MG on 2/14/09 at 1:08 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Perhaps it's a moot point now, however I havew always considered Valentines day a bs holiday. There doesn't need to be a day for me to tell the woman I love (or man if that were the case) how much she measns to me. If I/she needs a day for that then I clearly don't show her the love she needs, or that I feel for her. All my ex's and my current wife knew from day one, I didn't celebrate VD becasue I feel it's a bs holiday. Sure I'll get her a card, or some chocolates, but the holdiday itself is the same as Christmas, just a marketing ploy so that car dealerships and furniture stores can have sales. Let the one you love know it every chance you get. Tell her/him every time you see fit, they'll feel just as loved if not more, than giving them a day that is shared by millions.

Posted by: Winterskiss on 2/20/09 at 3:57 p.m. (Suggest removal)

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