Las Vegas Weekly

January 27, 2009 · 2:17 PM

Claiming one’s virginity is something to dance about

By Justice

I’ve taken several people’s lap dance virginity. Finding out that you’re about to be someone’s first can be kind of nerve-wracking. Stripping is a job. It’s physical labor but it can be emotional too. You’re selling a weird combination of sexual contact and affection. Yes, I work for money but I really do want my customers to have a positive experience. I had the opportunity to take another person’s “virginity” a few days ago. He was 30 years old and, hence, an atypical virgin. The usual virgin is an awkward 21-year- old. I once had a customer whose mom bought him a lap dance. “My son thinks you’re really pretty. Will you give him a lap dance?” That was strange. Poor kid.

On the topic of virgins, I am now working at a place where girls go to begin stripping. It is square one for new strippers. It is refreshing to realize how innocent they can be. A few days ago, a girl ran into the locker room and grabbed fistfuls of baby wipes and began to wipe frantically at her bare, young chest. “I just made some guy nut!” She was horrified. I laughed. Really, getting jizz on your boobs is like stripper baptism. You can keep wiping but you’ll never be clean again.

Another girl was shocked that someone asked her to go to his hotel room for some extra money. It was her second shift as a stripper. It was so sweet. She told every single person at work that she had been propositioned. I thought that it was the beginning of a story, but it was actually the whole story. That sort of thing happens on such a regular basis that I never even think about it after the customer goes away. It’s kind of irritating but not worth a mention. I advised her to mislead people from time to time. I encouraged her to make the VIP room sound like heaven. Beat them at their own game. She said she would feel bad. “Feeling bad isn’t going to make you any money,” I tell her. The innocence at this new strip joint is just precious.

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