Blog - Stripped
Small FontsDefault FontsLarge Fonts

Stripped

Tales of the naked city, from a Las Vegas dancer.


July 26, 2009 · 1:58 PM

Grind of dancing can wear on relationships

By Justice

I got a chance to hang out by the pool with my friends, the stripper/bouncer couple that I mentioned in the last blog. I really didn’t give them enough credit. He is extremely sweet and understanding and totally deserving of my stripper friend, one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in person. She is also as humble as she is beautiful. They laugh and joke and have incredible communication. They’re lucky to have each other.

I sat next to them on the outdoor cushions inside a cabana that they had reserved for the day. I felt wet and icky from the Las Vegas heat and humidity building up under my bikini, which remained covered by my clothing. Beads of sweat ran down my forehead just below my messy hair. My friend maintained her beauty impeccably with her shimmery, pale eyeshadow and long spider-leg eyelashes coated in waterproof mascara. I hadn’t been to a hotel pool party before and I forgot that we were supposed to wear make-up and high heels. The place was crowded with tattoos and big hair and polluted with house music. I had foolishly planned to go for a quiet swim.

I brought up the sensitive topic of jealousy in a stripper’s relationship. “I know this might be a sensitive issue, but … how comfortable are you with your girlfriend’s job?” I asked the bouncer.

He explained that he was completely comfortable. He knows it’s just a job. What a sweetheart.

“What about the fact that she’s grinding on c*ck?” I added. He told me that her job is to arouse men and take all their money. It simply doesn’t bother him. He trusts her. He has seen me dance, too, and remarked that we’re ridiculously clean dancers. Spoiled dancers, really.

“How often do you or did you go to strip clubs before you were a bouncer?” I ask, which brings me to a very, very interesting observation. “Maybe once a year.” It’s not really his thing. In my experience of dating while being a stripper, there is an incredibly high correlation between a level of disapproval for my job and the level of pleasure that my boyfriend enjoys from patronizing a strip club. “That’s because he probably had a dirty experience and he thinks you’re one of those girls” my stripper friend believes. “He’s one of those guys who tries to get away with as much as he can” the bouncer says.

I once dated a guy who would never ever give me a ride to work. He would pick me up but he would not take me to work because he refused to put me in that dreadful situation. He also once spent $1,400 on a stripper in one sitting.

On the other end of the spectrum, I dated a guy who had only had a lap dance once in his life because his friend bought him one. Paying for attention wasn’t his thing. He understood that it was fake. He was the most comfortable with my job.

My stripper/bouncer couple friends made their inferences about this correlation and I suppose I’ll present mine as well. I suspect, though I can not say for sure, that the men who have enjoyed the strip clubs the most are the ones who are the most charmed by the intimate (albeit fake) experience. They, perhaps, are fooled by the giggles and batting eyelashes and dirty talk. The strip club experience is so highly special and personal that it hurts them to imagine that their girlfriend is making and sharing that experience with other men.

The bottom line is that lap dances are a meaningless physical experience to most dancers. Being in love with a significant other is not affected by our professional physical labor. The occasional hard-ons pose no threat. Trust us.

6 Comments So Far

I suspect that a man who is highly insecure does not do well with a stripper girlfriend. A secure man knows that a stripper is not a hooker........and trusts that his girlfriend would not disrespect herself to do anything but her job. However, an insecure man WANTS a stripper (because she is gorgeous) but he is not secure enough with himself to keep her and therefore is either angry about her work or always checking up on her.

But that is just the opinion of a little ol' housewife who has a husband who doesn't go to strip joints (but I would let him if he wanted...;-)

Posted by: MG on 7/26/09 at 3:55 p.m. (Suggest removal)

You are right on the money, Justice....We who enjoy the strip clubs are the ones most charmed by the intimate experience. Yes, it is surely fake. So is professional wrestling, criminal defense, commencement addresses and most sermons, and every plank of both political parties' platforms. So what? Life is a cabaret (Kander and Ebb) and every day is ladies' day with me (Victor Herbert, 1906).

Posted by: rrbill on 7/26/09 at 5:57 p.m. (Suggest removal)

We all say that ... So your a dancer for sure i dont mind the job ...Yeah right, i dont buy that ...
Once you really have feeling for someone,its not that easy.... Its easier if the job does not affect her too much as well...
Of course u can trsut strippers; but the reality is the reputation and it is just a reputation,is not good...

It seems sometimes, and im not talking about u justice, that dancers like to stay with only ppl from their line of business so that they understand but lso avoid beig judge and facing a certain reality bc at the end of the day like a striper friend told me it seen as a degrading job by the most which is often perform by the attract of greed...

Again im not saying its ur case?
I only have around 10 dancers friends and from that sample i know 1 has been in arelationshipf for 8 years and most others are alone or have not made it by8months...1 dated a bouncer who after a few months hit on my gf...Yes that's how comfortabl he was with his job:)

Posted by: natkingcolebasket on 7/26/09 at 11:07 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Ooops part II
"Being in love with a significant other is not affected by our professional physical labor"

I agree but at the same time though it is a job, reading ur blogs and knowing what it feels like this job does seem to affect the love capability, at least i do think.
It is quite draining mentally and htough u have the ability to go elsewhere in ur mind when u dance;I think , and again its just my mere personal thought, that it affect for soem dancers the ability they have to trust men and to be trusted..

SO many guys at work make u so many compliments justbc they mean it and sometimes want more that i feel like sometimes some girls take looks for granted, sort of become stuck up and dont really care about compliments in the real world which is to me a bit sad because i think a genuine compliemtn is beautiful ..

gosh got talaktive again, got to go abck to work ... :)

Posted by: natkingcolebasket on 7/27/09 at 4:10 a.m. (Suggest removal)

While gowing up with a single mother, it became very clear early on that it would serve all interests best to listen with genuine interest and respond with a balanced contribution in kind.
So as a teenager, the best female {ten-point O on the rickter scale} relationship advice I heard went something like this: his undefinable, lite-energy, that commingles with mine, and makes my own most positive energies become stronger.
Def-Condition One

Posted by: cypher on 7/27/09 at 6 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Not sure about this. My wife just retired last year from dancing, and while I have been, and still am a frequent visitor to clubs (with her now as she enjoys such as well), I never had a problem with what she did for a living, but at the same time, I have always known that the work she did and others do is all about illusion and promises and fantasy. While I enjoy the fantasy that is woven in a club, I have never fallen in to it and felt it was reality.

Posted by: Master_Peter_Raven on 8/20/09 at 8:02 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Commenting requires registration.

Comments are moderated by Las Vegas Weekly editors. Our goal is not to limit the discussion, but rather to elevate it. Comments should be relevant and contain no abusive language. Full comments policy.

Already Registered? Log In Below.
Username:
Password:  Forgotten your password?
 

SMS Alerts

Videos

Video Library

Flash is required

Cocktail of the Week

Cocktail of the Week Nov 19, 2009
by Xania Woodman

The Jaded Kiss

The bar is open! Or rather, back open. Adjacent to Dos Caminos at Palazzo, itty bitty Fusion Mixology Bar has gotten itself some fresh new beats and mixology talent as ...
Read more...