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Stripped

Tales of the naked city, from a Las Vegas dancer.

05.28.09 · 3:28 PM

A trip to the land of cow-tipping should leave us with a treasure chest

I am hours away from surgery and, naturally, I am entirely unsettled. I am going to be sliced open like a dead fish and stuffed like a turkey while I’m anesthetized. I’ve never been to the doctor for anything more serious than strep throat. Actually, I was dropped as a baby and my skull was cracked and that involved a lot of doctor visits. I don’t, however, remember that so it doesn’t count towards any experience I can compare to ... Read more...

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05.26.09 · 12:08 PM

Sometimes a dance is the ultimate dead show

Speaking of Memorial Day, a few days ago was the anniversary of my father’s death. I believe he still crosses my mind maybe one or more times a day, though I don’t really talk about him much. Captain Cake, my fellow stripper and good friend, says she thinks of me as a person who was hatched from an egg, a person without parents. Anyway, I think it’s creepy when I see men who look like him. I have a customer ... Read more...

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05.20.09 · 11:26 AM

A nasty, tactile wound is afoot

On my way out the door on Saturday night while I was rushing to get to work, I stepped on an exposed tack strip. I didn’t even know what a tack strip was until I was describing the incident to people. “You know that strip of wood underneath the carpet with the nails that stick up?” I would explain. “A tack strip?” a bouncer asked me. And at that moment, my home improvement vocabulary expanded exponentially. For practice, let’s use ... Read more...

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05.14.09 · 10:31 PM

I’m bored. I’m boring. Show me a good time. E-mail me.

Write me an e-mail at justice@lasvegassun.com to tell me your funny strip club stories. Write me anyway, actually, to ask or tell me anything. Send me pictures of your prized poodles, too. I’m bored and lonely and I could use some entertainment once in a while. I really am boring. Just the other day a customer asked me, “How does such a hot chick get so lame?” after I told him I don’t drink or smoke and I don’t really ... Read more...

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05.9.09 · 3:14 PM

Bring me your aged, your infirm, your ardently horny

I love old men. Not just twice my age, but maybe three times my age. Men with straggles of white hair covering shiny, liver-spotted scalps. Men who smell like mothballs and Bengay. Send them my way. I love them. When a little old man walks in to a strip club in the wee hours of the morning because he just got out of bed and had ladies on his mind, it puts a smile on my face. I approach him ... Read more...

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05.4.09 · 11:54 AM

At work, an acute fear of swine flu, or whatever we’re calling it

“If you have (oink) flu, report to the DJ booth,” the DJ announces. “Free pork chops at the DJ booth,” he continues. “Marinated in Mexico,” he adds. I pay a little attention and notice that there is a Level 5 pandemic of stupidity. The disease formerly known as swine flu is freaking people out at work and the DJ is having a field day with uncomfortable announcements. Didn’t you hear? The swine flu is no longer officially called “swine flu” ... Read more...

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Featured Cocktail

Cocktail of the Week May 15, 2013
by Sabrina Chapman

The Golden Pillar: An architectural cocktail built for XS

This Sunday, XS nightclub celebrates the grand reopening of its after-dark pool party, Night Swim. Along with the bash comes a new offering of signature cocktails served by the pitcher, ...
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