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Stripped

Tales of the naked city, from a Las Vegas dancer.


May 14, 2009 · 10:31 PM

I’m bored. I’m boring. Show me a good time. E-mail me.

By Justice

Illustration: Justice

Write me an e-mail at justice@lasvegassun.com to tell me your funny strip club stories. Write me anyway, actually, to ask or tell me anything. Send me pictures of your prized poodles, too. I’m bored and lonely and I could use some entertainment once in a while.

I really am boring. Just the other day a customer asked me, “How does such a hot chick get so lame?” after I told him I don’t drink or smoke and I don’t really hang out with anyone except for having the occasional conjugal visit. Since I quit drinking, the overwhelming majority of the population agrees that I’m as exciting and spontaneous as a dead slug, including each recipient of the conjugal visits. I took a sip of my $6 bottled water and shrugged. “What should I be doing with my time?”

I don’t mind my lack of social life and lack of excitement. I get to do activities that are important to me like draw portraits of my dog, collect jars full of long-legged brown spiders, and actively ignore phone calls. One of my favorite things to do is stare quietly into space and think about things. Sometimes I think about things so much that I need to take a nap. I don’t suppose I’m actually bored. I’m just boring to other people.

As a salesperson selling the illusion of being a fun and exciting person, I am in desperate need of a better answer to the question, “What do you do for fun?”

A lot of strippers are exceptionally plain and “boring” outside work. I asked other girls what they do for fun and across the board; everyone is exhausted from raising kids and supporting their unemployed boyfriends. We’re also exhausted from walking around in those damn shoes.

On top of being occupied with our families outside of work, maybe the party life just isn’t appealing to us after eight hours of working in the party environment. Do you like to unwind by hanging out in a cubicle?

Anyway, write me an e-mail.

5 Comments So Far

Hey Justice,

DOnt worry ur not boring, u cant be fun all the time between work and everything ...I hear u though, work is ur entertainement and outside u probably dont do this much:)

But as u said lots of girls are like that... Work, work , work, eat out with friend and then some more work:)

Aside the strippers i know who are party girls , going out, working every now and then lots of girls as u said are like that:
Kids to take care of, boyfriend/toy boy, family issues or simply dont get much done, because they are too tired to go out and the constant stress they are under dont really make them want to party or have a bf... My girlfriend told me 70% of her friend are the latter and lots of them have not had a bf in a long time just tired of men :)

So dont stress urself out ur normal :)

Oh gosh im boring too, ill sned u an email then :)

Posted by: natkingcolebasket on 5/15/09 at 3:50 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Become a conspiriologist. The world will never look boring again. Especially after you realize that swine flu was deliberately manmade so dissidents can be forced into internment camps, where the international bankers will have them secretly killed. (The still-empty internment camps have already been built, Justice.)

Posted by: Vercingetorix on 5/15/09 at 1:48 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I tell them I practice tucking my head into my navel and doing the standing splits while sweating to death in a 105 degree room. I let them ponder & visualize that as some kind of sex play before telling them it's part of my Bikram yoga practice.

I haven't been bored for one single second since getting sober 12 years ago. I am aware however that many people would be bored by my lifestyle. And who cares?

If you're bored, read my blog. Lots of stripper stories there, hon. :)

www.MyDancerDiary.com

Posted by: CaseyDancer on 5/16/09 at 5:35 p.m. (Suggest removal)

A paradox in winter. The perception of a burning ember is it will continue to eminate heat at a rate which inflames the flesh and seers the soul. Some embers understand the energy required to continue doing so at all times is unsustainable except to the detriment of their elemental fusion process. As a relative newcomber to the land of beautiful weather and gorgeous landscapes who spends full-time trading pari-mutuel futures, be assured that you are not alone dealing with others preconcieved perceptions that the art of money in and of itself while interesting does not automatically roll over into that other world where things move slower, are simple, and joy flows easily and without complication. Peace and good codes..,

Posted by: cypher on 5/18/09 at 9:09 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I have other businesses that I work on. My favorite is my travel company www.destinationavalon.biz Everyone likes to talk about travel, so it not only makes for good conversation...but it also had lead to me making new clients because my company can provide better services than their current travel agency. The strip club is a FABULOUS place to network. Where else do we get the personal cell phone number of Fortune 500 Presidents and CEOs?

Posted by: StripandGrowRich on 5/19/09 at 7:06 p.m. (Suggest removal)

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