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Stripped

Tales of the naked city, from a Las Vegas dancer.


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April 23, 2012
I work at a human petting zoo’

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November 24, 2009 · 9:36 AM

As a (temporarily) former stripper, I’ll still take your order

By Justice

Illustration: Justice

“Will you please give me a lap dance?” I was asked by yet another drunk customer. “No” I said. “But I can get you another drink.”

“No? Why not?” he persists. “Because I’m not a stripper. I’m a waitress.” I explain. “Not even for an increased price?” he points to the VIP room. “I really can’t. Sorry.”

I am still working at a strip club but my job description is a little different these days.

I am now waitressing at the same place I was dancing. I needed a break. Maybe for a few weeks. Maybe longer than that.

There is no need for more waitresses in this economy but my manager told me he didn’t want me to leave so he gave me the job and the best shifts. It looks suspicious to other employees. From the time I began training, I already got comments from other employees saying I was getting favorable treatment. I could practically hear people’s eyes rolling when they saw me in the waitress uniform. I feel like I need to work especially hard to show that I am capable and competent even though I was hired with no verification of previous waitressing experience.

It’s a different perspective. I really get more fly-on-the-wall opportunities. I am walking in on other girls’ private VIP room interactions. It freaks me out a little. There are certain rooms I would avoid as a dancer because they’re too private. Rooms that give the no-one-can-hear-you-scream feeling. When customers pay more, they often expect more and from what I see now, they are getting what they pay for.

The difference in my pay between dancing and waitressing doesn’t concern me too much right now. I’m low maintenance enough that I can live off waitressing. I’m still driving the car that I learned how to drive with. I wear worn out clothes from high school and I have found out from experience that expensive jewelry doesn’t make my life any better. I am most pleased by weird things. I have been in awe and wonderment over platypuses for the past few days. They make milk but have no nipples. It blows my mind.

Anyway, I’m waitressing until further notice. We’ll see how this goes.

Well, those of us loyal fans saw this day coming. At least now you are getting paid, unless the Evil Empire has figured out someway to serve booze with just independent contractors. Can we expect a change in the name of this column to "Tipped, tales of the somewhat naked stripper, from a Vegas cupbearer.?" You realize, of course, that you are leaving far too much to the imagination. Congratulations, and keep writing from the other side of the rail.

Posted by: rrbill on 11/24/09 at 12:27 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Observations from a test challenge: Tilling the automatic earth
Conceding considerable (shy-like) concern, (counting) data-points were established^[iex] cluding dark-room work.
The bottom line trended markedly higher towards Ladies carrying treis; in multiple-scale environments (analysis).
Men understand-*-beautiful smiles connected 2 drinks-in-hand=.., happy
There is talent, then, there is bankable talent (Puzo).
Enjoy The Silence {perturbation} 4 min 28 sec

Posted by: cypher on 11/24/09 at 10:07 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Of course, your new profession makes you even more desirable. Even in Flint MI, last home of the $5 lap dance, everyone is willing to pay premium prices to convince a comely waitress to dance for him. I guess that to persuade a Real Person (as opposed to Someone in Show Biz) that she has tired of her clothes is considered to be one of life's little ephemeral victories.

Posted by: rrbill on 11/25/09 at 5:13 p.m. (Suggest removal)

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