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As a (temporarily) former stripper, I’ll still take your order

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Illustration: Justice

“Will you please give me a lap dance?” I was asked by yet another drunk customer. “No” I said. “But I can get you another drink.”

“No? Why not?” he persists. “Because I’m not a stripper. I’m a waitress.” I explain. “Not even for an increased price?” he points to the VIP room. “I really can’t. Sorry.”

I am still working at a strip club but my job description is a little different these days.

I am now waitressing at the same place I was dancing. I needed a break. Maybe for a few weeks. Maybe longer than that.

There is no need for more waitresses in this economy but my manager told me he didn’t want me to leave so he gave me the job and the best shifts. It looks suspicious to other employees. From the time I began training, I already got comments from other employees saying I was getting favorable treatment. I could practically hear people’s eyes rolling when they saw me in the waitress uniform. I feel like I need to work especially hard to show that I am capable and competent even though I was hired with no verification of previous waitressing experience.

It’s a different perspective. I really get more fly-on-the-wall opportunities. I am walking in on other girls’ private VIP room interactions. It freaks me out a little. There are certain rooms I would avoid as a dancer because they’re too private. Rooms that give the no-one-can-hear-you-scream feeling. When customers pay more, they often expect more and from what I see now, they are getting what they pay for.

The difference in my pay between dancing and waitressing doesn’t concern me too much right now. I’m low maintenance enough that I can live off waitressing. I’m still driving the car that I learned how to drive with. I wear worn out clothes from high school and I have found out from experience that expensive jewelry doesn’t make my life any better. I am most pleased by weird things. I have been in awe and wonderment over platypuses for the past few days. They make milk but have no nipples. It blows my mind.

Anyway, I’m waitressing until further notice. We’ll see how this goes.

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