Las Vegas Weekly

September 3, 2009 · 10:38 AM

Another whirl with school to spend that stripper money wisely

By Justice

I forgot to mention that I’m in school again. I am hiding under the skirt of higher education again. In its inviting womb, I figure I’d squeeze one more degree out of my stripper money before I hang up the G-string for good. Ultimately, I’d like to have a job where I get to keep my nipples covered for most of a shift. I’m studying more science type stuff so I can work in the medical field. Me doing something normal? What is this world coming to?

School barely started and I’m already slammed with homework. I don’t know how I’m going to get so much writing done and still write a blog. Maybe I should outsource this blog to a worker in India. I kid. I’ll get it all done. My uncle used to say that if you want something done, give it to a busy man. When you’re busy, I believe you create a momentum of accomplishment. I know the opposite is also true for me. When I have too much free time, I can’t even find the time to bathe let alone write anything. Full speed ahead, I will merrily stress myself out by working on endless assignments. I’ll find the momentum. I’m sure I’ll be happy to report that I’m getting straight A’s when it’s all over. I hope so anyway.

Contrary to what one might expect, I think stripping has improved some skills that can be beneficial to success in school. It has made me quicker with math, for sure. Making deals at work, I have to think quickly to figure out my profit margin. If I think of numbers in increments of dances, I can easily solve equations.

Stripping also improved my social skills. You can only get what you want when you can talk other people into letting you have it. That’s the world for you. I’m definitely more comfortable talking to other people and in front of people. One of my classes this semester requires many oral presentations. Public speaking is a paralyzing fear to most people. It used to be one of mine. I know now, from my excessive experience of being onstage as well as being a member of the audience, that if your performance sucks, people tune you out so fast that you don’t really have to worry about everyone sitting around criticizing you. They really don’t care. In a classroom as well as in a strip club, when a group of people are going to take turns in the spotlight, they only care about their own performance. Your nervously cracking voice, your razor burned bikini line, it’s not making an impression on anyone.

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