Las Vegas Weekly

September 10, 2009 · 3:02 PM

Distracted? Even my toenail polish seems fascinating

By Justice

Photo: Justice

With a bit of time to kill before class, I’m writing from the school’s computer lab. School, stripping and life in general are going exceedingly well. Doing school over again, I’ve made it a point to change the habits that became detrimental to my successful completion of assignments. I feel like I’m a thousand times more easily distracted by simple things than most other people and that is a thing I need to be conscious of. I need to sit in the front of the classroom because the variety of people and their choice of clothing make it completely impossible for me to pay attention to a lecture. Seats at the front of the classroom are prime real estate for brown nosing over achievers. They fill up fast so I have to get to class early.

Last week while I was stuck a few rows behind the flock, there was a girl in my class who held my undivided attention because there was so much going on with her ensemble. She was wearing a tight, cotton dress in neon colors. It showed acres of her perfectly browned skin. She also had pink blush on her face and fake eyelashes. “Why would anyone wear fake eyelashes to school?” I pondered. It would have been easier to ignore a tropical parrot flying around the room.

Another thing I’m noticing is people who wear T-shirts with angel wings printed on the back. I can’t help but to stare because I don’t even have to make eye contact when I’m staring at them from behind. This sort of thing puts me on a strange train of thought. I start to think about how I always stop to poke dead pigeons with a stick. The incredible details in the bird wings capture my attention more easily than a professor’s waste-of-time anecdotes. The varying sizes and textures of the feathers beg to be studied. I once put a dead pigeon on a paper plate and squirted mustard on it. Mustard is an interesting color.

I like drawing pictures in my notebook during class too. This tendency to doodle is another source of intense distraction. It’s rude to do in plain sight of the professor so sitting in front of the class prevents this behavior too. Drawing things that are school related, however, sometimes helps me learn.

I’m so easily distracted that I can’t wear visible stripes or patterns on my own clothing if I have any intention of paying attention to a lecture. Even my own toenail polish is a source of amusement. Solid drab colors, jeans and plain close-toed shoes are my college uniform. Perhaps I’ll make a better habit of focusing this semester. So far, I’m okay.

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