Las Vegas Weekly

September 21, 2010 · 3:15 PM

Illegal lap dance leads to palpable tension … but what else?

By Justice

Remember that little incident where I allegedly performed an illegal lap dance and was then awarded a citation for it? My case was denied by the city and thrown out completely. I was not fined or penalized in any other way.

Several of my friends who were also cited received the same result. Upon getting the good news, the girl who was cited with me sent out a mass text telling everyone about her good luck and also added, “Free c*ck rides for everyone!” The two of us danced side by side on the same song for two of the undercover cops who were at our club that crappy night. If her case was thrown out, then there was no reason mine should be pushed forward, I assumed. She told me the news in the morning. My court time was in the afternoon so I had the whole day to panic and prepare for the worse. Even with the signs indicating that it wouldn’t be so bad, the uncertainty was murder.

My court date had been postponed from the original date so I had several months between my court date and the date of the incident. I had a ton of anxiety built up. I was pretty much prepared for the worst.

I went to court in a dark green sweater and gray slacks. I was a bit concerned about what to wear to court. I wanted to dress as conservatively as possible. Since several strippers had the same court date, I joked that if my thong wasn’t visible, I’d be the most conservatively dressed chick in the room. One of my friends wore a red dress to her erotic dance court appearance. Bold.

My friends showed up to support me. I was still with B but we didn’t discuss the incident at all. It would have been nice to turn to him but he hates to be reminded that my work is dirty and illegal. Disappointment all around.

I waited with the other lowlifes outside the courtroom until the doors opened. We shuffled in and sat on the cold wooden benches and waited to be called up one by one to learn our fate. The first letter of my last name is found late in the alphabet so I had to sit and wait for a long time. Or it felt like a long time. Time flies when you’re having fun and the inverse relationship of time and the perception of time is also true.

My name was called. I walked up. Probably shaking in fear. And they told me. And my jaw dropped in a silent scream. I walked out of the courtroom completely high on relief. Some younger guy who had also just left the courtroom remarked in the hallway, “Well that was uneventful.” Thank God for that.

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