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Stripped

Tales of the naked city, from a Las Vegas dancer.

10.13.10 · 5:33 PM

An audition amid Barbie dolls beats crying at the locker

Holy crap, over the weekend I saw the worst implants I have ever seen on anyone. If her nipples were eyes, they’d be cross-eyed. One nipple to the sky, the other one at the bottom like it’s dying of shame. Surprises lurk underneath that sexy red bra. I’m assuming it’s a case of capsular contracture, where the scar tissue that forms around the implant tightens and distorts. It can happen at any time. Scary. Anyway, I’m at a new club ... Read more...

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09.21.10 · 3:15 PM

Illegal lap dance leads to palpable tension … but what else?

Remember that little incident where I allegedly performed an illegal lap dance and was then awarded a citation for it? My case was denied by the city and thrown out completely. I was not fined or penalized in any other way. Several of my friends who were also cited received the same result. Upon getting the good news, the girl who was cited with me sent out a mass text telling everyone about her good luck and also added, “Free ... Read more...

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09.16.10 · 3:59 PM

Turning 25 in Alaska leaves one in an unfair state of mind

Late in the summer, I turned 25. The day before my birthday, since I had the day off, I went to the Alaska state fair with Black Bird and her family. I really got a chance to bond with her mom over fair food. “You’re my food soulmate,” she told me, as we walked down the fair path holding plates of fried oysters and creamy pastries topped with caramel and chocolate sauces that we washed down with diet colas. Bird ... Read more...

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09.8.10 · 10:59 PM

Prenatal reservation trip leads to birth of a nickname

My friend Black Bird is a card-carrying member of an American Indian tribe. This means she gets a ton of free health-care services on the Indian reservation. So when she got pregnant we made a trip out to the reservation in California to get her prenatal exam. On our way, we got miserably lost in the desert. We stopped for directions several times. I’m pale and blond and she doesn’t look especially native so gas station attendants asked why the ... Read more...

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08.19.10 · 4:39 PM

It’s not quite time to paint Black Bird’s tummy, but it is time to hang that G-string

I’m in Alaska with my best friend, a pregnant stripper who I met in Vegas. We flew out a few days ago and have been working since the day we landed and haven’t taken a single day off. My friend has one of the most interesting childhoods I’ve heard of. Her mother was a high-price prostitute in Vegas in the early ’90s. My friend’s early years were spent living in hotel suites and eating room service funded by her mother’s ... Read more...

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08.6.10 · 12:20 PM

With the heat rising and work in a deep chill, it’s back to Alaska

I made $30 the last time I worked. I made $0 the shift before that and $90 the shift before that (a Saturday night). And trust me, I looked really hot. This disaster was no fault of my own. It’s just Summer. Either way, when a club is making more money off me than I make off me, it’s time to figure out a different plan. So I’m going back to Alaska next week. Yikes. I knew that summer here ... Read more...

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07.25.10 · 12:40 PM

Embers of relationship smolder during impromptu camping trip

The thing about it is that the ex, we’ll call him B, asked for space but not a breakup. I was the one who decided that putting me on the back burner was not an option. Giving him “space” was a situation where I would be getting all of the restrictions of a relationship but all the loneliness of being alone. B didn’t want to lose me but he knew he was too busy with work and other projects to ... Read more...

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07.20.10 · 4 PM

Was this reunion with the ex at all healthy? Probably not

I came back to Vegas from Alaska, went to Arizona for a few days and now I’m back in Vegas. The drinking and the anti anxiety meds and the late nights have been too much for me. I need to stop. I’m a mess. When I returned from Arizona on Friday, I went straight to the Tool concert with people from work. After the show, I went to work. I promised myself I’d stop drinking when the night began. It ... Read more...

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07.16.10 · 3:02 PM

Performing totally nude is no walk in the park, but it is a walk on the back

At the end of one of my first shifts at the Alaskan strip club, I was howling in pain. I laid face down on the filthy locker room carpet crippled with a tremendous ache in my lower back. “Owwww,” I moaned. I had a small Asian woman walk on my back. Then a much larger black woman took a go at it. The cramping was unbearable. She rubbed out the pain with her large tan feet. Out in the great ... Read more...

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07.8.10 · 2:46 PM

The trashy walk of shame leads to some quality time with the children

On the 4th of July I missed work. I spent it at a barbecue hosted by the couple with whom I was staying. I spent the previous night drinking all night and made my walk of shame that afternoon right into the house midbarbecue while still in my spidery long eyelashes and bright turquoise eyeliner. I was wearing a purple and blue tie-dyed short cotton dress, black thigh high socks and tall wedge cork shoes that didn’t match at all. ... Read more...

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Featured Cocktail

Cocktail of the Week May 15, 2013
by Sabrina Chapman

The Golden Pillar: An architectural cocktail built for XS

This Sunday, XS nightclub celebrates the grand reopening of its after-dark pool party, Night Swim. Along with the bash comes a new offering of signature cocktails served by the pitcher, ...
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