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Rule the Rink: Fashion tips from Robot Chicken on Wheels

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These are the people you should be getting your fashion advice from. Seriously.
Photo: April Corbin

I’ve always thought that roller-skating is ready for a comeback, and when Adult Swim rolled into Crystal Palace on Sunday to host roller-skating party Robot Chicken on Wheels, I almost saw that wish come true.

Nearly an hour before the event officially started, the line around Crystal Palace ran the entire length of the building and then some, with people anxious to celebrate the animated show’s latest DVD release (Robot Chicken: Star Wars Episode II) and mingle with executive producers Seth Green and Matthew Senreich, writer Breckin Meyer and Gym Class Heroes.

Sure, for most it was about celebrity sightings and not the feeling you get when cruising around a lacquered wooden rink while the lights from the disco ball fill your eyes. However, most of Sunday’s attendees still understood the most important aspect of roller-skating: a stylish wardrobe.

In case you missed Sunday’s event, here are four clothing revelations you should remember for next time you hit the rink:

4. Sometimes wearing mismatched clothes and bright colors isn’t enough. You need to accessorize. Asian fans, big glasses and plastic guitars are good choices, but don’t ask why… We’re still figuring that part out.

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3. Wearing pants is overrated. Roller-skating is all about showing off your fishnets and knee-high socks. Short-shorts and mini-skirts, though they reveal a lot of leg, can still distract people. So, your best bet is to simply avoid wearing anything other than underwear, the brighter the better. Remember, you’re competing with Crystal Palace’s bright blue tables.

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2. It is perfectly acceptable for men to wear frilly red underwear. If women get to show off what the good lord gave them, why not guys, too? Sure, they’re a little hairier, but when it comes to the rink, more hair just means more cushion when you fall on your ass.

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1. If you don’t happen to own any bright colors, knee-highs or fishnets, a Storm Trooper uniform also works.

Leach Blog Photo

Storm Troopers are excellent on skates.

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