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Three non-porn notes from Adultcon 2009

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Adultcon 2009 at Bally’s Las Vegas on Nov. 4 - 5
Photo: April Corbin

Walking into an adult industry fair like Adultcon, it’s safe to assume a few things. For instance, you know you will see plenty of asses, many in fishnets and hanging out of barely-there three-inch skirts. Everything will be accentuated by heels great for having sex in but not so great for walking. Hordes of pornophiles will bump into you in a frenzy to take photos of and with their favorite adult entertainers. Plenty of sexed up merchandise, such as an “I Love Vaginas” T-shirt line or a cleverly titled candy treat called Lollicocks, will be available for purchase. Finally, there will always be just enough fabric and pasties to keep it legal under Nevada state law.

Held Wednesday and Thursday at Bally’s Event Center, Adultcon had all of that – and more. Among the skin, free posters and $5 “air dances” offered at the convention were a few things you might not expect to see at an adult entertainment expo. Here are three:

Adultcon

1. A dune buggy company.

No, this isn’t a euphemism. Somewhere between DVD-peddling porn stars and a local escort company, Sun Buggy Fun Rentals has set up shop. The company offers off-road treks through the desert, as well as scenic tours of Valley of Fire in custom-built dune buggies. A DVD showing two people bouncing through the Mojave on a two-person buggy plays on a television set up inside the booth. Jen, the woman manning the booth, says she was told it was a porn movie that included the company’s buggies, but admits she hasn’t seen any sex in it. Still, it’s a “wild ride” of sorts.

EFX has little to do with porn.

2. New-age hippie bracelets.

The booth for EFX is located directly across the aisle from a Vegas-based voyeur house Web site called VegasBrats.com, where two lovely ladies are playing Twister half naked with some happy fans. Described as “embedded wearable technology,” EFX is basically a little dot that is supposed to stabilize and harmonize your body’s bioelectric current. It comes in bracelet, necklace or adhesive dot form. The long, drawn out explanation for how it works includes phrases like “realigning your chakras.” The bottom line, the rep tells me, is an automatic increase in balance, strength and flexibility for whoever wears it. The sales rep I spoke to (who swears his blood-type diet has helped him avoid all sicknesses for 14 years) isn’t quite sure why the company is at Adultcon. “Whatever reaches the tourists,” he says. Apparently, the two of us aren’t the only ones confused as to how the product relates to the adult entertainment industry. One bystander interrupts a demonstration to ask, “Does it give you super cock?”

Nice 'stache!

3. A man taking photos of a mannequin with a fake mustache.

Perhaps this guy has a fetish for female mannequins sporting fake mustaches – we’ve witnessed weirder things, especially at these types of conventions. Or maybe he wants to contribute to a witty Flickr feed or a blog dedicated to fake ’stashes. He could have honorable intentions, like promoting Movember, the grow-a-mustache-in-November-for-charity movement. Then, there’s the possibility that he might be subconsciously pointing out an awful and obvious truth: After a while, even porn gets boring, and amusing yourself with some an aluminum mustache cutout and your iPhone is far more entertaining. Naaah. It’s definitely not that.

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