The Help Desk
Where we sort it all out for you
Thu, Jul 10, 2008 (midnight)
Star Trek: The Experience to close September 1. Who needs science fiction? $4 a gallon for gas? A text-messaging governor? Gambling on the decline? We’re living it!
Harry Reid says that coal and oil “make us sick.”No, Harry, what really makes us sick is watching the Democratic Party shoot itself in the foot at every turn.
Report: Most poker players support Obama. So remember, if you’re still undecided, ask yourself: Who would “The Unabomber” endorse?
National Weather Service issues Red Flag warning for July 4 over fire concerns. Most Las Vegans too busy lighting anything they can get their hands on to notice.
Las Vegas health officials issue measles advisory. Ha! We’ve already beaten ricin, HIV and hepatitis C. Bring it on!
Mojave Max, the famous desert tortoise, dies at 65. Probably just as well—his 401(k) had dwindled to nothing.
Charles Barkley upset over handling of $400,000 Vegas debt. Yeah, they actually made him pay it.