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LV Weekly

Nevada sucks (but not as bad as West Virginia)

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Boo. Sucks to live in Nevada.
D Sharon Pruitt, via Flickr

The Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index places Nevada 38th on its list of the happiest states in the nation (West Virginia was in last place). Does that mean the Silver State is a wonderful place to visit but only a so-so place to live? Let’s investigate using the types of well-being the surveyors measured and ranked.

Emotional health

For anyone dealing with troubling times, Southern Nevada offers a wide support network – strip clubs, sports books, shopping centers, slot machines.

Physical health

Nobody’s proven that silicone is bad for you, right? Beautiful people run amok all over town. Sure, they might not be healthy in the way their doctors recommend, but physically, they’re damn fine to look at. And that’s what our billboards tell us really matters.

Healthy behaviors (such as whether a person smokes or exercises)

If you consider nightlife a sport, Southern Nevada is full of exercise. C’mon! Vodka isn’t that different from Gatorade, and anyone who’s spent a night grinding in stilettos knows that’s one hell of a quad workout. Plus, Nevada banned smoking in plenty of places, with the exception of casinos. It’s not like almost all of the movie theaters, entertainment complexes, nightlife hotspots and restaurants are inside casinos… Oh, wait.

Job satisfaction

Nevada has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country. This means people with jobs should be satisfied they even have a job in this state. Those that don’t can file unemployment online. No pesky lines! That’s what I call sure-fire satisfaction.

Conclusion: I wonder how Wyoming (No. 3) is this time of year.

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