The Weekly list: Reincarnations we’d like to see
Thu, Jul 9, 2009 (midnight)
Photo: Erik Kabik/Retna/www.erikkabikphoto.com
Jon and Kate Gosselin
Reincarnated as: The Las Vegas monorail.
Why? So they can remember what life was like when no one paid attention to them.
Reincarnated as: A chirpy cruise director on an Alaskan cruise line.
Why? That’s what she was meant to be the first time.
Reincarnated as: Bacon.
Why? Living life as Top Chef’s most-beloved ingredient would offer him an even better chance to appreciate the fruit of the swine.
Reincarnated as: Criss Angel.
Why? Automatic do-over.
Reincarnated as: The words “last call,” uttered at 10 p.m. every night in the bars of Turducken Falls, North Dakota.
Why? We like the phrase “Turducken Falls.”
Reincarnated as: Britney Spears.
Why? There’s only so much karma can fix.
Adulterous politicians and their sad wives
Reincarnated as: Panic at the Disco.
Why? So they’ll break up and disappear.
Reincarnated as: Twitter.
Why? Apparently, we just can’t get enough.
Reincarnated as: Jim Gibbons.
Why? Fair is fair. Four-time NBA champs should be required to walk the earth as no-talent hacks.