The Help Desk
Where we sort it all out for you
Thu, Jun 18, 2009 (midnight)
Las Vegas Marathon to become “Rock N’ Roll Marathon,” with live music every mile. Songs are expected to include “Running on Empty,” “Stumblin’ In” and “Everybody Hurts.”
Cheap Trick to headline at Hilton, perform Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper. That’s right, because every time we hear Cheap Trick on the radio, we think, “Why can’t they play someone else’s songs?”
Hundreds of students at local elementary school absent amid swine flu scare. Child care wasn’t really a problem, as all their parents are jobless anyway.
Hookers for Jesus founder weds Christian rocker in Las Vegas. We’re still trying to figure out if this is good news or a little creepy.
Toni Braxton impersonator back in U.S. after three months in South American prison for ... impersonating Toni Braxton. After seeing the state of Las Vegas, she asked, “Can I go back?”
Carlos Santana once labeled Gene Simmons “Las Vegas entertainment.” That’s outrageous! Gene’s never once played “Black Magic Woman” or “Oye Como Va.”
Paula Abdul in negotiations for her own variety show on the Strip. For people who like their variety entertainment with just a smidge of incomprehensibility.
Oscar Goodman considering run for governor as an independent. He realized “free gin for all” didn’t really fall into the realm of either Republicans or Democrats.