Las Vegas Weekly

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Can you tell which of these quotes come from The Michael Jackson Tapes and which from The Clinton Tapes?

1. “THERE ARE HORRIBLE THINGS IN THERE. PEOPLE HAVE NO IDEA.”

A.) Bill Clinton on a piece of Republican-backed legislation

B.) Michael Jackson on the pool house at Neverland Ranch

2. “I’D STILL RATHER TAKE A WHIPPING.”

A.) Clinton on the political calculation of attending a funeral

B.) Jackson: “... than watch Captain EO again.”

3. “I DIDN’T MALICIOUSLY ATTACK HER.”

A.) Clinton on a woman reaching for the last funnel cake at the Arkansas state fair

B.) Jackson on Roseanne Barr

4. “I’M NOT EASY TO LIVE WITH IN THAT WAY FOR A WIFE. I’M NOT EASY, AND I KNOW I’M NOT EASY. BECAUSE I GIVE ALL MY TIME TO SOMEONE ELSE.”

A.) Clinton, writing as “a student at a small, Midwestern university,” to Playboy Advisor

B.) Jackson, on his failed marriages

5. “NOBODY REALLY TALKED TO HIM. I THINK HE WAS SURROUNDED BY, I HATE TO SAY THIS, BROWN-NOSERS.”

A.) Clinton on George W. Bush

B.) Jackson on Hitler

Answers, if you actually need them:

1. a; 2. a; 3. b; 4. b; 5. b (!)