Las Vegas Weekly

The Help Desk

Las Vegas ranks seventh on Forbes list of Best Cities to Retire In. Proving once and for all that Forbes lists are a result of putting all cities in a hat and just choosing at random.

Casino employees sue over second-hand-smoke exposure. Can we change our slogan to What Happens in Vegas Has Real-World Implications?

Holly Madison says she’d like to be city’s mayor. Hate to break this to you, Holly, but with the caliber of mayor up to now ... you’re extremely qualified.

Alleged “Burglar of the Stars” arrested in Las Vegas. “Stars”? Well it was actually Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. Let’s not get carried away, guys.

Brown cloud over Las Vegas stumps weather experts. We’d like to think it’s the collection of everyone’s dashed hopes and dreams.

Former Celtic Antoine Walker arrested for allegedly writing $1 million in bad checks in Las Vegas. This man obviously needs a positive influence in his life. May we suggest Charles Barkley?

Canadian jet fighter makes emergency landing at Nellis Air Force Base after dropping fuel tanks near populated areas. More amazing than the fact no one was hurt was the news that Vegas still has populated areas.

Firefighters train at unfinished Fontainebleau. In addition to learning how to deal with high-rise-hotel fires, firefighters also learned how to file for bankruptcy efficiently.