The Help Desk
Thu, Apr 1, 2010 (midnight)
Tea Party of Nevada candidate Jon Scott Ashjian compares himself to Rosa Parks. First a male prostitute did so, now a third-party candidate. If Rosa Parks were alive today, it’s likely she’d say, “For THIS I refused to give up my seat?”
“Markus,” Nevada’s first male prostitute, quits over lack of customers; brothel owner replaces him with prostitute dubbed “Y. Not.” Women who can get sex from just about any man at any time are more likely to refer to him as “Y. Bother.”
Lights on Las Vegas Strip go dark for Earth Hour. It was easier to accomplish than you think—a lot of the lights were already off.
Chris Brown reportedly having trouble finding a club in Las Vegas that will host his 21st birthday. This is seriously going to jeopardize our ranking on the Dumbest Cities List.
Clark County Schools Superintendent Walt Rulffes announces he will resign. It’s not that schools are screwed; it’s that he got tired of everyone calling him “Ruffles.”
Gov. Jim Gibbons demands Attorney General Catherine Cortez Masto support his plan to sue over health-care reform, saying he’ll find other legal counsel if she refuses. Masto reportedly used the “Oooohhh, I’m so scared!” defense.
Clark County District Attorney’s office files request for arrest warrant for Tea Party candidate Jon Scott Ashjian on charges of felony theft and drawing and passing a bad check. Somewhere, Rosa Parks is smiling.