Las Vegas Weekly

The Help Desk

In closed meeting, Dina Titus says Democrats are “fucked” unless they learn a lesson from the Senate upset in Massachusetts. She also told the meeting that coffee was for closers only.

His fight with Manny Pacquiao canceled, Floyd Mayweather agrees to fight “Sugar” Shane Mosley. Far be it from us to say that boxing’s reputation is in trouble, but rumor has it Dina Titus had a choice word to describe it in a closed meeting.

Report: Las Vegas led the nation in foreclosures in 2009. But don’t worry, Las Vegas—all your politicians, lobbyists and bank managers still have their homes. Feel better now?

Housing and Urban Development sends three-person team to Las Vegas to deal with foreclosure crisis.Way to go, HUD! Given the size of our problem, three people should be able to solve it all—in about 50 years.

Cirque du Soleil apologizes for Criss Angel’s homophobic remarks during recent performance. We know this because we set a Google alert search for “Cirque du Soleil apologizes for Criss Angel’s homophobic remarks.”

Sen. John McCain calls taking Yucca Mountain’s nuclear waste dump off the table “an insult to one’s intelligence.” And considering this guy’s taste in running mates, insulting intelligence is his wheelhouse.

Two of Tiger Woods’ alleged mistresses featured in upcoming porno. It’s already being called a three-stroke classic.