The Help Desk
Thu, Feb 11, 2010 (midnight)
Obama tells nation not to “blow a bunch of cash in Las Vegas when you’re trying to save for college.” Yeah, do it the proper way: Wait until you’re in college, then blow it all in Vegas during spring break.
Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman calls Obama a “slow learner” for making second Las Vegas comment. Speaking of which: Hey Oscar, you do realize we’re never getting a professional sports team, right?
Wayne Newton allegedly abandons rotting, moldy jet in Detroit for the last three years. They would have discovered this sooner, except he left it in, you know, Detroit.
Las Vegas-based Allegiant Air adding Michigan base. Hey, they could add Wayne Newton’s plane to their fleet while they’re over there.
Ice from airplane falls and crashes into couple’s Las Vegas home. Crews who responded said they were stunned—it had been awhile since they’d seen an occupied home in Las Vegas.
Men’s Health magazine lists Las Vegas as America’s 11th drunkest city. We were going to write a really nasty joke here, but the giant spiders warned us not to.
Reality star Katie Price gets married in Las Vegas. Paparazzi were late to the event, as they were too busy using Google, trying to figure out who the hell Katie Price is.
In state of the state address, Gov. Jim Gibbons pushes for education reform. Yeah, kids don’t need teachers to learn.