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AEE

Come on, feel the porn

On screen action comes to life with Real Touch

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The Real Touch can mimic hundreds of sensations, which basically means it’s sensational. If you’re into that sort of thing.
Photo: Sarah Feldberg

I remember the thought that went through my head at last year's Adult Entertainment Expo when I encountered the then-brand new Real Touch sex toy for men: So that's what it feels like.

Developed by video-on-demand giant Adult Entertainment Broadcast Network (AEBN), the Real Touch is a device for guys who want to feel porn, not watch it. The football-shaped toy matches its movement to the sexual activity taking place in the over 700 films it's been encoded to work with. In order to pair a porno with the Real Touch, encoders have to match the movement of two silicone belts inside the device with the hot and heavy onscreen action. Heating panels and a lube reservoir aim to make the Real Touch action feel as close to the real thing as possible. It's like a Wii for your penis. Simply insert member, affix eyes to screen and enjoy.

Well, maybe it's not quite that easy.

Veteran porn star Lisa Ann says she and her boyfriend play with the toy together, picking her favorite scenes and then hooking him in for the ride.

"The first time you watch with it, you're thinking about it," says AEBN CEO Scott Coffman. He compares it to watching James Cameron's recent blockbuster, Avatar with 3-D glasses. For the first few minutes you're conscious of the glasses; after a few tries with the Real Touch — Coffman laughs — enough said.

The device, which went on sale at the end of 2009 costs $199.95 and comes with 60 minutes of free video from the encoded catalogue. After that users pay $.49 per minute to watch hooked up and happy.

The biggest obstacle, Coffman says, is convincing men that the Real Touch is what it claims to be. "They have to get over the concept that we're not kidding them. Once we can get it in their hands, guys love it."

At AEE this year, guys were getting their hands into it. Staffed with a few eager representatives and with occasional visits from veteran porn star and Real Touch spokeswoman Lisa Ann from Who's Nailin' Paylin?, the Real Touch booth was crowded with men slipping two fingers into the toy's pink silicone slit. You could almost see the wheels in their head start to rev as they felt the belts kick in coordinated with the hardcore action playing on flat screens around the booth.

"We live for only a few things," Coffman says of his gender, "and one of those is going to be sex."

So, what happens when sex goes from a duo or symphony to a one-man band? I envision a whole generation of women stuck in the friend zone — men devoting their time to Real Touch, while the Call of Duty case collects dust. But Coffman laughs that terrifying scenario off.

He sketches out a scene familiar from countless sitcoms: Horny husband, ambivalent wife, a convenient headache leaving them on opposite sides of the bed. "From a female perspective we think we're a better friend," Coffman chuckles.

"Sometimes you just want to be bitched out," he jokes. "I don't think women are going to be obsolete."

Then Coffman employs an equal rights argument for his techy toy.

"You know how many sex toys you all have. We are putting our foot down and saying, 'It's time for us men to get a little bit of lovin'.'"

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Sarah Feldberg is the editor of Las Vegas Weekly magazine. A veteran journalist, Feldberg previously worked as the Weekly's web ...

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