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The real househusbands of porn

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Evan Seinfeld and Lupe Fuentes.
Photo: Allison Duck

For porn stars in relationships, having to wish your significant other a great day having sex at work is a reality. Even if both members of the relationship are in the industry, jealousy and insecurity are hurdles many adult film stars encounter with their lovers.

Evan Seinfeld, porn star and ex-husband of Tera Patrick, dealt with the fact that his wife constantly was having sex with other partners. Even as her manager, jealousy was bound to rear its ugly head.

"I've been with Tera when she was having sex with other guys, which brings up very powerful feelings," Seinfeld said. "If you had asked me before I ever agreed to be with her while she was having sex with other guys, I would have told you I never would have been able to handle it or tolerate it."

Seinfeld noted the variety of emotions watching your partner work conjures up.

"You feel jealous and turned on and powerless and powerful," he said. "I like to feel."

Seinfeld was eventually able to look at the bigger picture.

"In the end I found it very freeing in a weird way because it's going to sound strange, but it helped to kind of quell my worst fears," he explained. "Sex is sex. Men are afraid that a woman is going to have sex with another guy and be under the spell of that guy's penis and never want to be with them again."

So your spouse just had sex on camera with a guy she met for the first time in the green room before the shoot. Now what? For Seinfeld and Patrick, life went on. "The first time Tera had sex with a guy on camera, we went to the grocery store after and bought fruit and went home to make fruit salad."

Now that he's split from Tera, Seinfeld has found love with another porn actress, Lupe Fuentes. "My current girlfriend is not having sex with other guys since she met me. She has sex with me and with other girls," Seinfeld said.

For Seinfeld though, it is all about respect. "If she wants to make movies with other men, she has my permission. I mean, she's a grown woman; she can do whatever she wants. I think I would be more interested in who the guys were to make sure they would be respectful of her."

Rapper and porn star B. Pumper admitted he's had relationships with girls he's met on set and has had varied degrees of success with ladies who know what he does for a living.

"It depends on the individual," he said. "If someone is really really secure, it's easy. You never know who you'll have chemistry with and you should never judge someone for what they do. You should love them for who they really are."

Still, it takes a certain woman to be able to handle her lover being passed around a porn set.

"I've had girls in the past say 'I know it's work and I'm sure you're a great guy, but I know myself and I'm a jealous girl and I couldn't handle it,'" Pumper said.

Of course, breaking the news can be an issue in itself. Saying you're in the porn industry is quite the icebreaker. Love it or hate it, it's a conversation starter.

"When I first got into the industry, I used to brag and be quick to volunteer the information that I was a porn star," Pumper said, "but I found that sometimes is shooting yourself in the foot because women are often so sensitive and emotional."

Then there's always the problem of being too tired for sex at the end of the day... from having had too much sex.

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