Cougars at a lovin’-mother convention!

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Cougars at a lovin’-mother convention!

Tue, Jan 19, 2010 (5:58 p.m.)

When cougars attack!

Illustration: Robert Ullman

Rich Gosse gave me a new perspective on life.

The producer of next week’s Cougar Convention at the Tropicana broke down the facts for me: Men typically tie the knot at 25 to a woman two years younger. When that marriage fails (and we all know how high the divorce rate is, right?) and those men remarry at 50, they typically marry someone eight years younger.

Then there’s the fact that men typically die younger. Good for life insurance beneficiaries; bad for everlasting love.

Las Vegas Cougar Convention: January 22, 7 p.m., $20; Tropicana Hotel Conference Center Ballroom; cougarevents.com

So, basically, one way or another I am doomed to wind up a middle-aged (or just straight-up old) woman surrounded by middle-aged men who only want to date the young and perky. The solution? Find myself a cub and date younger! At least five years younger, Gosse suggests.

He pointed out the other benefits of younger men: flatter stomachs, more head hair, less back hair, more adventurous (he’ll take you skydiving!) and, one hopes, less Viagra usage.

Now that’s a philosophy I can prowl with!

Unfortunately, at my age, I’d only be considered a kitten and, frankly, I’d have to date teenagers. Not so good, and not something Gosse endorses. As such, I’ll have to hang out for a decade or so, through my puma years (30s) but not before my post-cougar panther years (60+). Oh, but when that time comes … Watch out, boys.

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I am so sick AND tired of these old broads trying to get with little boys in their 20's or younger. It makes my blood boil. Why are they so desperate into
keeping themselves young? There are many ways Miss Fuddy Duddy can keep young at
heart, for example picking up a Vogue or Allure magazine for start. I mean, these 20 something year old men can't even keep their weiner in their pants. They're bound to cheat on ol' grandma. Secondly, these pathetic ass young guys
need to stop. I don't know what makes them think that hooking up w/ an older woman is gonna be way better than dating someone their own age. I like to wish them good luck on tolerating a 53 yr. old woman, going through menopause.
Constantly complaining about her hot flashes and not to mention, throwing her monstrous temper tantrums every other hour. I don't care what people say: AGE IS A NUMBER. So this is for the ladies of the Old Dames Convention, keep dreamin'.
Shoot, I can't wait to turn my big 4-0. I'll be dogging 20 year old boys left and right. Cougar Convention, WHAT'S NEXT?? Black Fellas Hooking Up With White Chicks Convention? Hah ha ha hah.
---- Karen S.

Posted by: ipodjunkie on 1/24/10 at 11:58 a.m. (Suggest removal)

to Karen - WOW.. someone's BF or husband apparently left them for an older woman; with all that angst can you blame them?

hook up with who you want! it's fun to explore.. I dont understand why some girl who wants to date a younger guy for sh!ts and grins makes your 'blood boil'.

I don't see myself dating an older woman.. but if the right one came along and we had a connection, then societies' standards goes out the window; To each their own.

and that second said convention you mentioned? yeah it's called the NBA.

Posted by: Mega on 1/25/10 at 11:15 a.m. (Suggest removal)

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