The Help Desk
Where we sort it all out for you
Thu, Mar 11, 2010 (midnight)
Katie Price’s Las Vegas wedding to Alex Price a sham because minister was unregistered. Not a real minister? That’s okay. They’re not real celebrities.
Unemployment in Las Vegas rises to 13.8 percent in January. John Ensign is hard at work on a solution—cutting unemployment benefits entirely. That’ll motivate your lazy asses!
Fortune ranks Boyd Gaming No. 1 least-admired company in the world for product and service quality. At first this shocked us—until we realized the company has New Jersey properties. Makes sense now.
Muslim group files complaint with police over detaining seven Muslims praying in parking lot. Our bad, guys—this is Las Vegas. We’re not used to seeing ANYONE praying.
NASCAR driver Juan Pablo Montoya still fuming after teammate ran into him during Sprint Cup Series in Las Vegas last month.Hey, give the guy a break, Montoya—after all, he WAS driving a Toyota.
Tourism officials fear Dallas Cowboys owner is trying to get the National Finals Rodeo from the Thomas & Mack. Hey, cheer up guys—there’s always Sesame Street Live to pick up the slack.
Orbitz ranks Las Vegas as No. 1 spring- break destination this year. Yes, it’s finally happened, folks—we’re cheaper than Mexico!
Man takes off clothes on plane bound for Las Vegas. Apparently someone couldn’t wait to start enjoying spring break.