Wed, Mar 31, 2010 (1:30 p.m.)
A few nights ago I dreamed I had sex with a very zitty, obese, gay man, while my husband watched. I was so disgusted, but had consented for some reason. That’s a dream I will never forget!!! – Angi, 31, Wausau, WI
Lauri: You are brave for sharing that dream! Now let’s sort it out for you. What in your life seems blemished? Is there some situation you need to “clear up?” The large size of the man is connected to the fact that this is a big issue that weighs heavy on you. You consented in the dream because this must be an issue you “invited in” to your life. I believe the fact that the man in your dream is gay suggests that this is something that is one-sided, which may also be why hubby is watching rather than participating. Are you the one doing all the work on this issue?
Angi replies: Wow! Very interesting. I would say my marriage is blemished. My husband just found out I had an emotional affair. I am trying to take care of that. I feel like my husband doesn’t see my efforts. Maybe that was the blemish, which resulted from the one-sided feelings (me never feeling like I was doing enough).
Lauri: Ooh ... yes. That would certainly be the blemish. Knowing that, I think the dream is showing you that he does see your efforts. You could use this dream to open up a dialogue with him about this situation. Your dream is the most honest expression you have. Maybe it will help him to see you are committed to “clearing things up.”