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A poem composed entirely of lines spoken by machines in the Las Vegas Pinball Hall of Fame

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Embrace pinball, and pinball-inspired poetry, at the Pinball Hall of Fame.
Photo: Bill Hughes

What the hell are you all staring at? [1]

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Pinball Hall of Fame
1610 E. Tropicana Ave., 434-9746
www.pinballhall.org

Three kilos of pure dirt. [2]

I don’t want to know what’s in there. [3]

A shrunken head! [4]

Ah, camel poo. [5]

This is not normal. [6]

We gotta save the children. [7]

Get your hands off me—all four of them. [8]

I am the king of pain. Welcome to my kingdom. [9]

I can take you. I may be short, but I’m mean. [10]

Oh no, super fart bumpers! [11]

This is the only person I’ve witnessed pick his nose and masturbate at the same time. [12]

But no one can see this news program so it doesn’t matter what we say. [13]

We are not amused. [14]

[1] South Park

[2] Waterworld

[3] Elvira

[4] Gilligan's Island

[5] South Park

[6] Family Guy

[7] South Park

[8] Attack From Mars

[9] Medieval Madness

[10] Medieval Madness

[11] South Park

[12] Family Guy

[13] Family Guy

[14] Medieval Madness

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Kristen Peterson

Kristen Peterson joined the Las Vegas Sun in 1998 as a general assignment reporter. In 2003, she turned her focus ...

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